Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.
The truth behind Hitler's suicide: his gas bill was too high.
What song does Kobe Bryant hate?
"Rocky Mountain High."
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
Why do emo kids hate high fives?
They’re always left hanging.
Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.
I asked an angel, "How did I die?"
"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.
What's the difference between outlaws and in-laws?
Outlaws are wanted :)
My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(
Why did the music teacher need a ladder to reach the really high notes?
High school students are also more interesting to see, but they are you on your way. Just kidding! 🤣
What do Americans call high school?
Shooting range.
The emo kid went for a high five. People say he's still hanging.
My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.
In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.
When you say, "I'm high!"
But then you fall off.
Officer: Hi, how high are you?
Pothead: No officer, it's "how are you?"
Officer: Oh, I'm sorry, I've been high since last night.
Pothead: Cool, I'd like to give you some weed, happy 420, sir.
Officer: Omg, thanks man, appreciate that.
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
Friends are very important. I have lots of friends in very high places. I hope the police can talk them down!
What's the difference between a high street betting firm and a prostitute?
You can get on with a prostitute!
How tall does the grass grow in Germany?
Zis high!
