High jokes

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Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.

Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"

Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.

What is an emo girl's favorite map in Halo?

Hang 'em high.

A boy tried to give a tree a high-five, but instead, he ended up hanging.

Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.

What does a kite and a criminal have in common?

They both get high.

I can't come in, because I'm too high.

Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.

What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?

They both get really high.

Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.

I asked an angel, "How did I die?"

"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."

High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?

Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.

High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.

Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.

High school crush: Who is it?

Me: You.

Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)

Me: Fuck that.

What's the difference between outlaws and in-laws?

Outlaws are wanted :)

My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(

Why did the music teacher need a ladder to reach the really high notes?

High school students are also more interesting to see, but they are you on your way. Just kidding! 🤣

What do Americans call high school?

Shooting range.

The emo kid went for a high five. People say he's still hanging.

My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.

In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.

How tall does the grass grow in Germany?

Zis high!

When you say, "I'm high!"

But then you fall off.