High

High Jokes

Emo

Why is it bad to high five an emo?

They will leave themselves hanging.

Lift

Think about you are so fucking high that you are walking to a lift and inside the lift are stairs. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Woman

Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?

Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?

Mama

Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.

Song

What is the number one song played in Columbine High? Smells Like Teen Spirit.

High-five

What happened when the Japanese guy offered Logan Paul a high five?

He left him hanging.

Ball

My balls are high, just like the towers, but when something impales them, they begin to sag.

Eyebrow

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

Shooting Range

When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...

Quarterback

As a son, I like sports, and I watch sports with my mom. So one day, we were looking at football. My mom asked me who makes the most money. I said the quarterback.

My mom told me I'm going to get a quarterback as my new boyfriend, and it'll be your new stepfather. A week later, my mom went out. I came home, and I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said, "What's going on?" My mom said, "Look, my new boyfriend and new stepfather is the high school quarterback." My mom said, "See, mission accomplished." I said, "Yeah, job well done."

Son

A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sorts of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention.

Next day the kid went to the state tower and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dad asks his son for a second time: "Son! Why are you doing this?" The son replies: "You told me to aim up high!"

Emo

As a fellow emo, I find these very rude and disrespectful. Please take off, or I'll tell Mom.

Also, if anyone knows any high bridges nearby, please tell me (I'm asking for a friend).

P.S. I have no friends.

Helen Keller

What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common?

Both stare off into space.

Disorder

I am always high, welcome to bipolar disorder. LMAO. (Don't bother to like or comment, I just had to say this.)

Tree

What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree?

The tree leaves them hanging.

School

Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?

Because it was High School.

Thot

Roses are red, violets are not, everyone at Grant High School is probably a thot.

Girl

The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.

One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”

“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”

“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish.”