High jokes

What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common?

Both stare off into space.

Why can’t you high five a Japanese person?

Because Logan Paul left him hanging.

What do you call a party planned by Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?

A high school pill party.

I have fun going on them roller coasters that go really high up and sitting by random people, and once we get to the high point, I look at the stranger and go "wham" and unplug their seat belt.

A bear and a rabbit are at a bar getting high, smoking weed, talking about nothing but lies and straight up garbage.

And then the bear starts to drink too much damn liquor, gets drunk, and asks the rabbit, "Can I have one more scotch, pretty please?"

And the rabbit says, "Hell to the naw, I'm not about to carry your drunk ass home with me and smell your breath."

Wanna hear a joke...

I don't know, I'm too high.

A girl named Kariah was at a night club. She was twerking and shaking, but she was just there for fun with her friends until some guy named Jaden came up to her and started flirting with her.

Jaden: WOW Girl!

Kariah: What?

Jaden: It's just that a sexy girl like you should be having sex, not begging for sex!

Kariah: Okay, listen pimp, I don't know who you are, but I don't want you around me one bit!

Jaden grabbed her hips with such FORCE!

Jaden: Come on, let's go somewhere...private! And have a good time, a fun time!

Kariah slapped him and left the night club, telling her friends she was gone, leaving a tip for the drinks she bought.

Daina: Hey, what's wrong?

Mary: Yeah!

Greg: Sweetie...tell us.

Ariana: Come on...did someone try to touch you in a weird way?!

Kariah wanted to tell them but couldn't; it was too personal.

Kariah: Uh I have to go...it's way passed my curfew! Love you!

Kariah sighed and waited for a cab down by Heyo street. Then a cab man started dirty talking her...DIRTY!

Cab man: Hey, sexy lady! Where are you going?...need a...wow...whoohoo...dang...ride?

Kariah rolled her eyes then stuck her tongue out at the cab man. This fucking cab men said this.

Cab man: Ooooo...use that for the sex!

Kariah: I don't think so!

Cab man: ha uh ha... I see the way your looking at me I know you like me!

Kariah walks away from him and finds another cab, but the cab man did not take her mean talk and weird silents for an answer. Instead, the cab man got out of his "Cab" and harrowed around her.

Cab man: HEY WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING!?

Kariah: TO MY KIDS AND MY HUSBAN! SO GET LOST BITCH!!!!

You see Kariah was married, she just came to be with her friends at a night club. Cab man gets close to her so she ran...she ran as fast as she could till she tripped on her high heels, once the cab man got close to her he picked her up...I think you know what he did okay I'll tell you. Cab man picked her up and took her back to the cab a.k.a taxi of course she was not gonna give up without a fight...will she gave up!

Cab man: I know ya like me! I just know it! You dressed up in a hoochie and sluty dress for nothing will wrong you LIKE ME maybe love if we get lucky!

He drove her to his house and then took off his cloths "underware included" got on top of her and "Rape was born again". Kariah did not remember a thing that night only that she was forced agianst her will too will have "S.E.X"

Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.

What makes you guys high?

I get high when I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.

My sister saved a guy from suicide last week.

She was hiking and the guy was on the ridge of a high, narrow cliff. She talked him down, but I think he was just being edgy.

What is an emo girl's favorite map in Halo?

Hang 'em high.

A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.

What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?

A baked potato.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked at me surprised.

(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)

This joke is about koala bears. It is high koala-ty.

Why do high tides come up so high?

Because they come up to say hi.

Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?

So he could get into high school.

All school meeting introductions:

Grade School: “Welcome Girls and Boys!”

Middle School: “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome!”

High School: “Fingerers and fingerees.”

Why do emo kids hate high fives?

They’re always left hanging.

My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex...

I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.