Elevation jokes
An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator, not a lift" and "it's chips, not crisps" etc. After a while of this, the British person calmly retorted, "they're schools, not shooting ranges."
What's the laziest mountain?
Mount Ever-rest.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."
If you watch "Jaws" backward, it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.
all kids
Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.
Yo mama so poor she walked into an elevator and thought it was a mobile home.
Why are mountains so funny? -- Because they are hill areas.
Sometimes, stairs get me down.
How are mountains able to see?
They peak!
An attractive man and a blonde meet in an elevator.
"Where are you heading today?" the man asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $30."
"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100."
The woman, slightly annoyed, gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.
"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"
"Sperm bank," she mumbles with her mouth full.
Call me an elevator, because I let people down.
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.
I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"
So I did...
I don't remember much after that.
What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?
Diddler on the Roof.
Life as an elevator has its ups and downs.
What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?
The elevator can raise a family.
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
Why do orphans love elevators?
They raise people!
What do black parents and elevators have in common?
Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.