Herring Jokes

Blondes like their men how they like their rice, brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.

Your momma's so fat when I went to suck her titties I got a mouth full of knee

She said you can twerk so I put her in a tractor and put her to work, she got mad at me and said "there's no good men" but I gave her a kob and equal pay!

A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when a ugly stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her "oh baby you so hot let's fuck" she just yells "get the fuck away you creep" he just laughs and says alright i wait down there.

A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "did you see that?" She says "yes", so the man shoots her. He leaves the bank and sees a couple, he asks "did you see that?" "No but my wife did!" The husband said.

Yo momma so fat that she don't need a backpack. She keeps her things in her lagrangian points.

A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners

The lady says, "Come Again!"

The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."

Why did the chicken crack the safe. To get to her nest egg.

My sister says I’m annoying , or that’s what i read in her diary.

a e-girl went to go high five a tree but the tree left her hanging

Did you know hellen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? Neither did she

My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive. I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked "How is that supposed to work?". I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"

A blonde walks into the Doctors office. She tells the Doctor, " My boyfriend has dandruff". The Doctor tells her to use Head and Shoulders. She leaves. About an hour later, the Doctors phone rings. He answers, its the Blonde. The Doctor asks how he can help her. " Well Doctor, I understand head, but how do you hove shoulders?"...........

Why was the turtle 🐢 looking at her phone?

She wanted to take a shellfie.

your mama so fat when pennywise said "we all float down here" he saw her and suddenly new he was mistaken.

This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"

The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. She said: “This essay you’ve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written.”

“Of course it is,” said Johnny. “It’s the same dog.”