Herring jokes
Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.
What do you call a lady with a pyramid on her head?
mummy
Yo mama is so ugly that the Grinch fell out when he saw her!
I had a great day today because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table, and the teacher screamed, "Allison, how would you like it if I banged you on the table?"
Yo mama's so big, her belt size is "equator."
Memes
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricant.
Your mum is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke.
Yo momma's so fat, her shirt size has more X's than Taylor Swift.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husbandβs ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.
I got LEGOs for Christmas, and my friend got her father's headstone.
Yo mama so fat, I have to take a train, 2 buses, and 3 airplanes to get on her good side.
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
I actually want peace, not war.
That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.
Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."
I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesnβt beat her old primary school one. π
This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"
Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?
She started her period.
My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.
I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"
I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"