Hereness jokes

What did one cheek say to the other cheek?

"It is a squash in here!"

Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...

I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.

Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.

Why'd the chicken cross the road?

That doesn't matter, we need to get the best joker to go back to posting here, he was funny but now people say they are him and ruin his good name, he was the top of the charts for over a year, so screw all these chumps! Bring back THE REAL SPECIAL!!!

Also, the chicken dies in the end, ha ha, funny, whatever.

Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.

Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.

"Is Mrs. Wall here?"

"No."

"Is Mr. Wall here?"

"No."

"Then what is holding up the walls?"

I hope there are no women on here because they just aren't that funny.

I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"

Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."

I asked the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

Wanna hear a joke?

Look in the mirror; I'm sure you'll find one there :')

It's so sad that Stephen Hawking has a whole category on here about him and he can't stand up for himself.

A basketball player walks into a strip club:

"Hi, I heard I could bounce some balls here?"

Here [are] some questions firesharky:

1. What color hair do u have?

2. What[s] MY parents['] names? What hospital [were] u born in?

3. What state [were] u born in?

Do not say I don't know.

My friend: Wanna hear a joke?

Me: No.

Friend: Why?

Me: Because you are a joke.

Friend: Your life is too...

Me: :)

Friends :)

"Alex, hi, you here!?"

A cow was standing in a corn field. The chicken walked by and said annoyingly, "What do I see here? Corned beef!?"

Ur momma's so fat that when she became a spy her codename was OObese.

Why were the Twin Towers scared for dinner? Because their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"

Alex: Dad, can we get me a little brother from the orphanage?

Dad: Sure, Alex!

Dad: We're here!

Orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now!

Alex: Dad, what is she talking about?!

I arrived at basketball and I asked little Jimmy if he brought the basketballs, and he said, "Nope, but I got two right here!"

What did the plane say to the Twin Towers?

"Open wide, here comes the airplane!" 💀👌