Hereness jokes

Stephen Hawking

It's so sad that Stephen Hawking has a whole category on here about him and he can't stand up for himself.

Ball

A basketball player walks into a strip club:

"Hi, I heard I could bounce some balls here?"

Memes

Workout

Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:

Sit-ups: 50

Push-ups: 40

Squats: 30

Do 5 sets.

Elephant

I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"

Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."

Emo

I asked the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

Woman

I hope there are no women on here because they just aren't that funny.

Muffin

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Phew, it's hot in here." The other muffin says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"

Bartender

Two Timetravers walk into a bar...

...the bartender then said, "Sorry, we don't serve Timetravers here."

Wall

"Is Mrs. Wall here?"

"No."

"Is Mr. Wall here?"

"No."

"Then what is holding up the walls?"

Airplane

A blonde crashes an airplane.

Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?

Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.

Officer: *face palms self*

Also officer: Here's your sign.

Tibia

I tried my best to think of some puns, but I'm gonna have tibia honest: I don't have any puns left, but I'm pretty sternum, so I'll think of a few puns here and there. It took a lot of spine to do this.

Mushroom

When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."