Sick

Sick Jokes

Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pal of water. Me: incorrect two pals of water one to refresh from running up a hill and the one you went to get I’m sick af from these stories

I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating "Nǐ cǎizhe wǒ de yǎngqì guǎn"

Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were "You're standing on my oxygen tube"

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?

A: If you can not helium, you have to curium. If you can not curium, you have to barium!

I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said "how sick?". I said "well I'm in bed with my 12 year old sister".

I'm 34 and I went on a date with my 19 year old girlfriend, I got heckled with "you're a paedophile!" and "you sick F...!" Completely ruined our 10th anniversary!

what does a make a wish kid and mosquitoes have in common? They Both Got A 10% Survival Rate...

Police officers hope you’re a criminal. Doctors hope you get sick. Mechanics hope you get car troubles. But only thieves wish you prosperity. Weird?