I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Nǐ cǎizhe wǒ de yǎngqì guǎn”

Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”

Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I was sick!

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?

A: If you can not helium, you have to curium. If you can not curium, you have to barium!

Where do bunnies go when they’re sick?

the hoppital

Where do sick boats go? – The dock!

Q- What will we give to a sick lemon? A- Lemon aid.

I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I Wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone, and it turns out he only knows Spanish so When he kept saying “Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida.” I thought he wanted water, but when I got back with the water he was asleep and now my phone was charged so I translated what he said. And it was “You unplugged my life support”, that’s when I called the doctor…

Good news is, I got one sick selfie!

I’m American, and I’m sick of people saying America is “the stupidest country in the world.” – Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.

Q. what do you give a sick lemon

A.lemon Ade

How did the tree get sick

It got tinsel-itis

I’m 34 and I went on a date with my 19 year old girlfriend, I got heckled with “you’re a paedophile!” and “you sick F…!” Completely ruined our 10th anniversary!

You want to hear a dirty joke?

This guy and this girl were having sex when the guys boss called to ask why he wasn’t at work. The guy responds, "I’m sick" His boss replies, "you don’t sound sick" The guy says, “I’m fucking my sister” and hangs up the phone

Where do boats go when they get sick? The Dock

What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!

My mom said the happier a person is when sick the sooner they get better.

So I went to the hospital hooked up everyone’s breathing masks to laughing gas.

why don’t ants get sick

because they have antybodies

How do you know a vampire’s sick?

If he’s coffin (coughing?)

I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said “how sick?”. I said “well I’m in bed with my 12 year old sister”.

A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone. The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone! (from a 1940 quotations book)

Wat do you give a sick bird? Tweet-ment!

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