Sick

Sick jokes

Box

  • Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day when suddenly Johnny said, "Mom, I think I'm gonna throw up!"

    Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there."

    Johnny comes back a minute later, and his mom asks, "Did you make it?" Then Johnny said, "No, but there was a box by the door that SAID 'For The Sick!'"

  • 2
  • Tree

  • Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.

    Dog

  • So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.

    About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."

  • 1
  • Child

  • Dear Gwen,

    Gwen, when I said sorry, I meant that as a sarcastic "why" and point of view!

    TBH, you make me sick as a dog! Also, you're so annoying; stop holding that anger in. BTW, I AM A SPECIAL CHILD!

    BTW, I am 6 years old BTW!

    Please comment good or not! Irdc!

    Jesus

  • Jesus seemed like he was probably a good guy; healed the sick, fed the hungry, and gave good advice.

    Jesus had only one flaw: he was always hanging around.

  • 0
  • Song

  • Here's a Song That Describes My Old Life-By-watersharky Productions-

    My buddies think I'm on the lake.

    Boss thinks I've been sick for days.

    And mama's probably on her way

    'Cause I ain't picked up the phone.

    I've been a million places,

    But they're all up in my head.

    Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.

    I've been gone, I've been gone

    I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.

    All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong

    Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane

    Sadder than a country song.

    Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way

    Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.

    Took a trip down memory lane.

    Checked into hotel heartbreak.

    Passed rock bottom on the way

    Without leaving my living room.

    I've been a million places

    But they're all up in my head.

    Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.

    I've been gone, I've been gone

    I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.

    All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong

    Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane

    Sadder than a country song.

    Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way

    Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.

    Yeah

    I've been gone.

    All the clothes are on the floor

    All the mail's by the door

    All the whiskey bottles in my bed.

    All the dishes in the sink

    All the gas is in the tank

    All the neighbors probably think I'm dead.

    I've been gone, I've been gone

    I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.

    All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong

    Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane

    Sadder than a country song.

    Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way

    Ever since you moved on, I've been gone (ooh, ooh)

    I've been gone (ooh, ooh)

    Gone

  • 0
  • Ocean

  • What does the ocean do to its friends?

    It waves.

    (*Sorry I wasn't making any jokes for a while, I was getting sick of this thing.*)

    Orphan

  • The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.

    The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.