What is the worst combination of illnesses? Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.
Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I was sick!
Q. what do you give a sick lemon
A.lemon Ade
Q- What will we give to a sick lemon? A- Lemon aid.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pal of water. Me: incorrect two pals of water one to refresh from running up a hill and the one you went to get I’m sick af from these stories
What do old people have when they are sick.
A going away party.
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating "Nǐ cǎizhe wǒ de yǎngqì guǎn"
Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were "You're standing on my oxygen tube"
Where do sick boats go? -- The dock!
Q:how can you tell if a vampire is sick
A:By how much hes coffin
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can not helium, you have to curium. If you can not curium, you have to barium!
By the law you are not allowed to have a sick bird. That's ill-eagle
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said "how sick?". I said "well I'm in bed with my 12 year old sister".
I'm 34 and I went on a date with my 19 year old girlfriend, I got heckled with "you're a paedophile!" and "you sick F...!" Completely ruined our 10th anniversary!
I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.
Jesus, that's sick.
what does a make a wish kid and mosquitoes have in common? They Both Got A 10% Survival Rate...
why don't ants get sick
because they have antybodies
How do you know a vampire's sick?
If he's coffin (coughing?)
What did the rapper say when he stubbed his toe?
"Ouch! That's NOT a sick beat”
Police officers hope you’re a criminal. Doctors hope you get sick. Mechanics hope you get car troubles. But only thieves wish you prosperity. Weird?
My mom said the happier a person is when sick the sooner they get better.
So I went to the hospital hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.
