What is the worst combination of illnesses? Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.
Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I was sick!
Q- What will we give to a sick lemon? A- Lemon aid.
Q. what do you give a sick lemon
A.lemon Ade
Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pal of water. Me: incorrect two pals of water one to refresh from running up a hill and the one you went to get I’m sick af from these stories
What do old people have when they are sick.
A going away party.
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating "Nǐ cǎizhe wǒ de yǎngqì guǎn"
Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were "You're standing on my oxygen tube"
Where do sick boats go? -- The dock!
Q:how can you tell if a vampire is sick
A:By how much hes coffin
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can not helium, you have to curium. If you can not curium, you have to barium!
By the law you are not allowed to have a sick bird. That's ill-eagle
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said "how sick?". I said "well I'm in bed with my 12 year old sister".
I'm 34 and I went on a date with my 19 year old girlfriend, I got heckled with "you're a paedophile!" and "you sick F...!" Completely ruined our 10th anniversary!
what does a make a wish kid and mosquitoes have in common? They Both Got A 10% Survival Rate...
why don't ants get sick
because they have antybodies
I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.
Jesus, that's sick.
How do you know a vampire's sick?
If he's coffin (coughing?)
Police officers hope you’re a criminal. Doctors hope you get sick. Mechanics hope you get car troubles. But only thieves wish you prosperity. Weird?
What did the rapper say when he stubbed his toe?
"Ouch! That's NOT a sick beat”
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system
