Health Jokes

A dyslexic guy walks into a bra!

Guess why Stephen died?? Because his wife forgot to put him on charge at night.

Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?

Because your mother has diabetes.

It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Rabid cow.

Rabid cow who?

Hold on, I need to get my gun...

The image shows four panels arranged in a two-by-two grid. The top left panel depicts a person with their hand on their head, the brain highlighted in red, showing a headache. The top right panel shows a translucent human torso with a red highlighted spine, indicating back pain. The bottom left panel displays a person rubbing their eyes, conveying fatigue or eye strain. The bottom right panel shows a close-up of a bloodshot eye. Above the four panels is the text "How was the online class? What did you get from it?" followed by "Me:".

Have you ever met a kid who’s so fat that they can’t even be accepted to “My 600lb Life”? They need a higher-ranking one!

I talked to your doctor. He said you wasn’t going to make it because your stretch marks look like pieces of bacon.

Have you heard of the man who got all his left side chopped off?

He was all right.

Five little monkeys jumping on a bed, one fell off and bumped his head.

Mummy called the doctor and the doctor said, "I'm gay!"

My syndrome is down, but my hopes are up.

Why do Asians don’t wear contacts? Cause they can’t fitt.

Cancer cancer cancer cancer. (joke speaks for itself)

What's the hardest part of a vegetable?

The wheelchair.

Friend: I got bit.

Other friend: By what?

Friend: A dog.

Other friend: (Runs away and the next day you know everyone is wearing a mask and the friend gets expelled because of rabies.)

So, I'm sitting here smacking on some cheese ball BBQ, my titties, and then I saw the most a shoe got shoveled all the way up my ass. I cried, then turned around and said, "MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCK FUCKIN GAY ASS HOE SHOVIN SHOE'S UP MY ASS SON OF A BITCH!" Then turned around, punched the guy, got smacked in the face, went in for another punch, got smacked in the face, then people staring at me. I said, "WTF are you staring at?" I punched as hard as I can, then got knocked out. I thought this, "This isn't over motherfucker, I'm gonna find you and kill you." Next thing I knew, I was in the hospital. They told me, "Why tf were you fighting a stop sign?" I said, "What? You were fighting a motherfuckering stop sign?" I said, "Bitch, I ain't crazing yo head a stop sign son of a bitch fuck my pussy u must be high! hai es a bitch muhfuhcka"