Healing jokes
My therapist told me that time heals all wounds. So I stabbed him, now we wait.
There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...
But now I don't know what to do with the letters.
what's black and red and is a liquid?
my scars!
what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?
people go there to fix their mistakes.
If laughter is the best medicine, shouldn't we go up to disabled people and laugh at them?
My doctor told me, "Time heals wounds."
So I stabbed him.
Now we wait...
My therapist said time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.
There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.
What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.
They said time heals all wounds, well, I broke your watch.
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.
Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.
The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!
If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
Time heals all wounds.
Unless you have AIDS, when time kills you slowly and painfully.
I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!
"Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way."
"Dr. Squatch will heal the itch, and know it goes away, hey!"
If I was a raped victim, would silence be the best medicine?
God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:
God: No, I don’t want to.
If LAUGHTER is the best medicine, BLESSEDBRIAN'S JOKES are the disease.
My therapist said, "Time heals all wounds," so I cut her.