Health jokes
Your dad went to the shop to get milk, came back, went again, but never came back due to a car crash due to an itchy rash.
What do you call a cow on steroids? A bull-y.
How to learn your Vitamins:
A = Art.
B = Bouncy Balls.
C = Cookies.
D = Da Sun.
You'll be smarter than a doctor next time you visit!
How much do the bones in your body weigh?
A skele-ton!
What do you say to your partner with diabetes?
Hey, sugar!
Fat.
Q. What do you call a hooker in a vegetative state? A. A thot incapable of thought.
Ms. Katie: I heard about a Vegan baby.
Mom: Here’s your Happy Meal.
Ms. Katie: That’s not vegan, did you trick me?
Kids: Yeah!
Ms. Katie: That’s it, little baby Jimmy, I’m giving you shaking baby syndrome!
Mom: Please don’t hurt my son.
*Ms. Katie shakes Jimmy*
Mom: I’m secretly a cop, and you are arrested.
Cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer.
"Dog the dog" and Maggie were frightened of her, and the kangaroo said that she had to be in a hospital with a doctor. Jokes and Maggie were walking. I was going to go off the road to the city hall to see her, and I said that the only one-piece dress for women readymade RB collection, as he was walking in the city, and Maggie was a little bit more on the side of it.
What's the difference between Cain Dashiell and Down syndrome?
Nothing.
You're so skinny, if someone farts in your direction, you will fly away.
What is an obese lady's blood type?
Nutella.
What did one ankle say to the other? Good morning, how are you today?
A father of a young girl comes to meet the doctor.
Father: Doctor, how is my daughter's report?
Doctor: Congrats, your daughter is pregnant.
Father: WTF ?????? My daughter is 10 years old and unmarried!
There are 4 people in a line. Three stand up and say "We are standing up for cancer," and then there's the one in the wheelchair.
How do you make a baby float?
You take your foot off its head.
Q: Why did Billy drop his ice cream cone?
A: He has turrets.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone?
Because she got hit by a bus.
A man was sitting in the restaurant and ordered a whole buffet. He is visited by an oracle. Apollo says, "If you eat that buffet, everyone you love will die."
"Up yours," the man said, "What are they going to die of, famine?"
Moments later, there was an incident that took place in the restaurant. Everyone literally died. It turned out the restaurant had a B-. I said, "Is that really a thing groaning on the hospital?"
The doctor said, "Know that is your condition, you have hepatitis B-."
"What the FU***** SH**"
Apollo is sitting in Mount Olympus, dying also in laughter.