Why do people consume "Laxatives"?
Answer: So that they can take a "Shit", STUPID!
Health Jokes
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.
Why are you sitting down to pee? I don't have a good back and can't lift something big.
A butt saw the toilet and said, "Shit, I'm sick!"
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.
Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.”
Man: “Am I dying?”
Doctor: “No, your wife is.”
Cancer is like your dad. It only comes back when Blueface baby drops a new album.
Vaseline
What's worse than having a comedian as president? Having a president that has dementia.
Yo mama so vegetarian that she loves the Vegan Teacher!
AUGH, oh sorry, I just got a third ball because of girls hitting my balls with a handball!
Doctor: Congratulations!!!
Woman: Was it a successful delivery?
Doctor: No, it’s DiGiorno!
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.
You're so fat you sunk Captain Crunch's ship.
You're so fat your blood type is Nutella.
It's still depression, by the way.
I cut my dick. It is all right now, and half the size but makes for excellent breakfast.
"Cancer gives you weed. It’s not healthy."
- All over it like a fat kid on a cupcake.
- Giggling like a room full of fat kids.
- Drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers and 3 shots in 3 hours goes down like a fat kid on a seesaw.
Comment if you're not vaccinated and don't plan to be!
