Health jokes
Yo mama so fat, she died!
Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.
Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?
A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.
Why couldn't the girl brush her hair?
..... She had cancer.... ;)
Roses are blue, violets are blue.
What? Ohh, shit!!!!!! I hate having dyslexia!
me before summer
What do you call diarrhea from a hot woman? Chocolate milk.
What do you call diarrhea from a fat woman? Arsenic.
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed.
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said,
"Why the heck were my children jumping on a bed?"
When you pull out, but the baby's face turns blue.
My penis is on fire.
How come the toilet paper could not make it across the road?
Because of the Corona Virus.
What is a lot?
Syphilis.
What do you call a mammal that has no hair?
Cancer.
A father of a young girl comes and meets the doctor.
Father: Doctor, how is my daughter's report?
Doctor: Congrats, your daughter is pregnant.
Father: WTF ?????? My daughter is 10 years old and unmarried.
The patient says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say."
The doctor says, "Next, please."
Q: What is the hardest part of a cabbage?
A: Wheelchair.
What type of implants are at a Chinese dentist office? Buck teeth implants.
Q: Why was the potty sad?
A: Diarrhea
Diabetic wives are like Cillit Bang. Squeeze them a bit and bang! The bed is gone.
The witch doctor came in my mouth last week. First hot meal I’ve had in weeks.
Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.