Health jokes
Diabetic wives are like Cillit Bang. Squeeze them a bit and bang! The bed is gone.
Q: Why was the potty sad?
A: Diarrhea
On April 1st, there was a baby born in the hospital when the doctor, out of sudden, directly takes the baby from the mother and smashes as hard as he can to the wall.
The mother crying and yelling, "What did you do? You killed my Baby!! Why did you kill my Baby?"
The doctor just laughs and says, "April, April, it was already dead."
Hahaha
Do this on a calculator.
There was this girl who was (13) but she wanted to be (84) but she was (45) but the doctor said (0). He said take these tablets (2x) a day, but she took them (4x) a day, and she ended up boobless.
Someone said to me they like greasy food with gravy.
I said no wonder your forehead's so greasy.
Memes
Yo mama is so poor, she makes her own hand sanitizer.
Why do cheetahs have spots? Chicken pox.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.
My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."
People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
Why do people consume "Laxatives"?
Answer: So that they can take a "Shit", STUPID!
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.
Why are you sitting down to pee? I don't have a good back and can't lift something big.
A butt saw the toilet and said, "Shit, I'm sick!"
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.
Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.”
Man: “Am I dying?”
Doctor: “No, your wife is.”
Cancer is like your dad. It only comes back when Blueface baby drops a new album.
Vaseline
What's worse than having a comedian as president? Having a president that has dementia.
Yo mama so vegetarian that she loves the Vegan Teacher!
AUGH, oh sorry, I just got a third ball because of girls hitting my balls with a handball!