Health jokes
Roses are blue, violets are blue.
What? Ohh, shit!!!!!! I hate having dyslexia!
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed.
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said,
"Why the heck were my children jumping on a bed?"
What do you call diarrhea from a hot woman? Chocolate milk.
What do you call diarrhea from a fat woman? Arsenic.
When you pull out, but the baby's face turns blue.
My penis is on fire.
How come the toilet paper could not make it across the road?
Because of the Corona Virus.
What is a lot?
Syphilis.
What do you call a mammal that has no hair?
Cancer.
A father of a young girl comes and meets the doctor.
Father: Doctor, how is my daughter's report?
Doctor: Congrats, your daughter is pregnant.
Father: WTF ?????? My daughter is 10 years old and unmarried.
The patient says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say."
The doctor says, "Next, please."
Person: "Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?"
Stranger: "Oh, just go stand in the middle of the road!"
What did the cancer doctor say?
You just got a new Christmas present—cancer!
This isn't a joke, but in some countries, children eat their shit for better digestion when constipated.
I have no toes, so I put blood on my foot, and then my other foot got run over, so, ye.
Q: Why was the potty sad?
A: Diarrhea
Q: What is the hardest part of a cabbage?
A: Wheelchair.
What type of implants are at a Chinese dentist office? Buck teeth implants.
Diabetic wives are like Cillit Bang. Squeeze them a bit and bang! The bed is gone.
The witch doctor came in my mouth last week. First hot meal I’ve had in weeks.
Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.