Chlamydia jokes

James Bond gives all the ladies he's met the perfect birthday gift: Chlamydia.

What did Santa give the mute, blind, quadriplegic orphan at Christmas?

Chlamydia.

Health commercials be like:

Serious side effects can cause:

Nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, chills, fever, cancer, diabetes, AIDS, chlamydia, lupus, Ebola, polio, leprosy, pulmonary edema, heart attack, heart failure, yellow fever, but worst of all, DEATH!

One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?

Condoms? HA! Those are for pussies!

So I'm banging the fuck out of this slutty chick, right?

And I'm thinking to myself, "She's PROBABLY got AIDS." So I go and get myself tested and, lo and behold, I'm positive.

This gets me thinking, "Where the fuck does an eight year old get AIDS?!"

"Who has my sister been hanging out with?!"

While undressing a woman, she told me she has AIDS. I told her she can't catch it twice, but she still kept screaming.

Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"

What’s green and yellow and eats at your nuts?

Gonorrhea.