Health jokes
Why are you sitting down to pee? I don't have a good back and can't lift something big.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheel.
I have OCD and ADD, so everything had to be perfect...but not for long.
Stroke victims are my heroes.
My favorite is Louis C.K.
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.
I'm stumped.
These are ear-retcal jokes...
Fail.
Me: Imagine not having hair.
Kids: On chemo.
Bitch the fuck.
Why did the Mexican take the tamale to the hospital?
Tamlito.
My girlfriend got COVID.
This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.
The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!
Pooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
Doctor, what is wrong with me?
You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweet-ment!
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?
CANCER!
Just kidding, they are both fun to laugh at.
A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.
And the winner of the Tour de France is awarded, as ever, with the yellow jersey.
To remind him what color his piss is meant to be.
Your mama so fat, the scale said, "Only one person at a time, please!"
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.