Health jokes
You know the stupid trend where people say it’s ok to be overly obese? Healthy even? That you should take pride in it? Which idiots started that movement?
Well. We know one thing for sure. They were obviously members of a wider community.
Yo mama so stupid, she went to Dr. Pepper for a check up.
Kids- it's time for Dora.
Kids- YAY!
Nick Jr. host- Today Dora is going on a big adventure with Grandma.
Swiper- Hello kids, I am trying to find my way to Diego's. Will you please help me?
Kids- Where's Dora?
Swiper- She's under cardiac arrest.
Kids- Poor Dora.
Everybody- SWIPER NO SWIPING!
Swiper - AH MAN!!
Only if Africa have enough mosquito nets, the mosquitos will not die of AIDS.
What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?
A wheel dealer.
lol again
Our family is known for unusually sloppy diarrhea.
It runs in our jeans.
Why did Mimi cross the road?
She had cancer.
What song is sung when conceiving?
"Let's Get Physical, Physical!"
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn't peeling well.
During Covid, lockdown went on for so long that even the agoraphobics got cabin fever.
What is the difference between a feminist and a vegetarian? A vegetarian doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons. However, a feminist doesn't act like a bitch for moral, religious, or health reasons.
What’s red, nine inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry every time she sees it?
Her abortion.
What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
Why did the old man win in a fight? Because he was stressed.
What do you call a retarded fruit?
Mentally in-pear-ed.
Yo mama so slutty the abortion clinic gave her a loyalty card and coupon for 20% off her next abortion.
What creature takes the most medicine?
Caterpillar.
Why does Ella have cancer?
Because she’s stupid.
Why can't people in Africa have medicine?
Because you cannot have pills on an empty stomach.