Health jokes
"Guess what my wife left in the freezer?"
"Her miscarriage."
Roses are black, violets are black.
I’m colorblind.
Why did the tamale go to the hospital?
because estava malito :)
A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replied: "'Til December."
What did the chocolate dentist say to the other chocolate dentist? Did you "chip" a tooth?
Memes
How do you poop?
I wish I was blind.
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
If only Karen Carpenter had eaten Mama Cass's sandwich...
Why did the orange stop?
Because it ran out of juice. Hahhaha.
My grandma always told my dad if a bird ever got in your house/truck, someone would die later that exact day.
She found out she had cancer. 11 months later, my grandpa died of a stroke. I hope to see them in heaven. I’d like to meet them. Pls comment good things. I really, really love them, even though I didn’t get to meet them. 😭😭😭
So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.
Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.
Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.
Dam, my balls itch like hell.
Why does Ella have cancer?
Because she’s stupid.
Down syndrome and brownies.
Why did not the toilet paper make it across the road to escape the corono virise?
"Cancer isn't real. It's probably special effects."
Why can't the blind man see? Because he can't see.
A man found out that he was going to die.
A German doctor comes in and says "you have 10 more". The man yells out "10 WHAT!! DAYS!!!! WEEKS!!!". And the doctor says "No seconds". And the man says "9 SECONDS!!!" And the doctor says "Nein. Ten seconds". He asked "How many seconds do I have to live 10, 9 , or...?"
Then he died and learned how to say no in German....
What is the most expensive type of sex you will ever enjoy in your life? The type which will shorten your life by 5 to 10 years.