Health jokes
What's harder than taking a shit?
Trying to take a shit while constipated!
What’s red, nine inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry every time she sees it?
Her abortion.
What do most disabled people eat?
Their arm.
What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
What's the hardest part of eating vegetables?
The wheelchair.
Memes
Hi, what's your name?
I don't know, I'm disabled.
What has a kid with cancer and Peter Pan in common?
They will never grow up.
A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replied: "'Til December."
How do you poop?
What did the chocolate dentist say to the other chocolate dentist? Did you "chip" a tooth?
How do you know someone is autistic?
They get stuck in a loop very often.
Why did the wheels not move on his wheelchair?
Because he had no legs.
My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
If only Karen Carpenter had eaten Mama Cass's sandwich...
I didn’t eat breakfast because I’m starving myself.
I'm hertophobic.
It means I'm allergic to straights.
Roses are black, violets are black.
I’m colorblind.
What is 1 + 1?
They didn’t tell me. Their stomach is upset.
Why did the tamale go to the hospital?
because estava malito :)