I wake up in the morning and I suck my teeth.
Health Jokes
What was the epileptic chef’s house special?
Seizure salad.
What's harder than taking a shit?
Trying to take a shit while constipated!
What’s red, nine inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry every time she sees it?
Her abortion.
What do most disabled people eat?
Their arm.
What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
What has a kid with cancer and Peter Pan in common?
They will never grow up.
What's the hardest part of eating vegetables?
The wheelchair.
Hi, what's your name?
I don't know, I'm disabled.
Why did the wheels not move on his wheelchair?
Because he had no legs.
My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I didn’t eat breakfast because I’m starving myself.
I'm hertophobic.
It means I'm allergic to straights.
What is 1 + 1?
They didn’t tell me. Their stomach is upset.
How do you know someone is autistic?
They get stuck in a loop very often.
"Guess what my wife left in the freezer?"
"Her miscarriage."
Roses are black, violets are black.
I’m colorblind.
Why did the tamale go to the hospital?
because estava malito :)
A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replied: "'Til December."
What did the chocolate dentist say to the other chocolate dentist? Did you "chip" a tooth?
