Health jokes
What did the skeleton say when he fell on his funny bone? He laughed!
What will happen if someone kicks you right in the balls?
You will be like, "Ow, my nuts!"
Where do depressed people go to eat?
Suicide Sonic.
What's the best thing about Covid-19? It gets into any kid.
I slit my wrists.
Memes
Wee dyslexic boy and girl in class.
Wee boy says, "Can you smell gas?"
Wee girl replies, "I canny even smell my name!"
A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.
Did you hear about the dyslexic man who walked into a bra?
I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!
Why was the tamale in the hospital? Because he was a "tamalito."
Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?
A. Nothing, they both die at ten.
Our family is known for unusually sloppy diarrhea.
It runs in our jeans.
Why did the bone go on a blind date? He was bonely.
Grandma, I can’t believe I have Alzheimer’s.
One second later, Well at least I don’t have Alzheimer’s.
Why are there blind people? Because there is.
I went to the eye doctor and I couldn't read. They showed me a picture of a birthday cake and I thought it was a menorah!
Why do you never see gay people in wheelchairs?
You can’t be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Why did the fish go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling “eel.”
Fella walks past a mental hospital; they're all out in the garden behind this big fence, all shouting "13, 13, 13, 13," etc., over and over again.
This fella is intrigued, sees a little hole in the fence, looks through it... gets fucking poked straight in the eye!
Then they all start singing, "14, 14, 14, 14, 14, 14!"
What do you call a person with an "a" in their autism?