Health jokes
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To fix his flow.
The bright side of this pandemic is now both my hands look equally chapped and raw.
Health and safety tips: Looking at your hairline is hazardous. For your best interest, please look away.
Why do you like cream instead of bugs?
Because bugs can kill you.
Q' What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite type of comedy?
A. I forget.
If a person with Down syndrome robs you, what do you say? “I’m up your Down.”
A big guy told the small guy, "Do you want a little pill because you look ill, or should I smash you?"
"I think my baby is so similar to me!"
"True, but the most important thing is that he is healthy!"
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
He had a bad case of CAVITY FLOWS.
Me: What are we doing in HPE?
Friend: Fitness.
Me: Fitting deez nuts in your mouth.
"ADHD is brainless and autism is braindead."
Two lepers meet on the street.
First says "How are you doing?"
Second says "Mustn't crumble!"
He pimples?
Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?
Less depresso, more espresso, I'm still depressed, but now I'm fast.
The first time I heard your voice, my foreskin fell off.
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.
1. Full name: John.
2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run.
3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream.
4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated.
5. Mental health: mentally retarded.
6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit.
7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named Redwing and the lizard named Notail.
8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock.
9. Working motivation: none.
I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John.
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger!
One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”