Pinocchio goes to the doctor for a checkup. When he gets there the doctor asks him “Do you have cancer?” Pinocchio replies, “That was very straight up, but, no I’m pretty sure I don’t have cancer.” After saying this, his nose grew.
What game hurts you the more stages you survive? Cancer
A womens knitters group is having a meeting and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies. One woman says "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system". Another knitter says "I'm taking Folic acid to help my baby's brain". Finally one woman says "I'm taking Thalidomide". All the women turn to her and say "Thalidomide ! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?" The woman shrugs her shoulders and says "I don't know how to knit arms". (Told to me by a woman knitter)
My brother caught Covid last month.
First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, 'I can't breathe, I can't breathe !'
I just told him straight: 'Bro... you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes.'
When you have a bladder infection
Urine trouble 😜
Don’t worry if you have a stroke
You’ll be all right
(Tripple Pun)
What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?
Raisin are kids is usually pretty fun, but some times they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin.
Someone: PLEASE EAT I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE *Me tryna remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because ive already googled it and given up because it takes too long* Me: Na yeah I still have 19 days left
what makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man? "im still standing, yeah yeah yeah" (from elton john)
A dad tells his son “Stop masturbating! if you do it too long you will go blind.” The son replied “Dad, I’m over here.
If the hairdresser is healthy, the cat is happy. *purr* On the other hand, if the hairdresser is sick, the cat is happy too. *purrs on the bed*
Why am I still alive? Pills give me stomache, blood makes faint, height frightens me...
Roses are red my mental health is blue Karen got no mom like you.
Why do orphans hate health ed at school? Their parents cant op them out of it.
What do you call lesbian sex during their period A blood transfusion
Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep. There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why? -You have to be alive to have autism.
Why is the orange so blind? Because it needs to take Vitamin C!
What if your Corona Test is neutral?
So a woman gets into a car accident and is in the hospital and the doctor goes on to tell the man what is going on; Doctor: "so your wife she is paralyzed from the neck down" and as the doctor goes he says all the things the man must do for her like feed her, dress her, etc. Then the man says " why, WHY ME!" Then the doctor leans over and whispers in the mans ear and says " I'm just fuckin with u she's DEAD!"
