Health jokes
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.
After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!”
She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
Why did the heterosexual man put a mask on his cock to protect himself from COVID? Silly boy.
What's the only part of a vegetable you cannot eat?
Wheelchair.
I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated.
Unlike my syndrome, I keep my chin up. 🙌🏽😁
Memes
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Yeah, he's all right now.
A woman comes to the doctor and tells her, "Doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?" The doctor says, "My number."
I would tell a scoliosis joke.
But that would be completely out of line.
New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.
Why don’t oranges 🍊 go around blind?
Because they take Vitamin See!
What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce field?
Seizure salad.
What did Freddie Mercury use to improve his hearing?
Hearing AIDS.
What did the kid with leukemia watch last night? Finding Chemo.
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
Did you hear about the guy who got his left side chopped off?
Well, he’s all right now!
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
I told a diabetic girl to have sweet dreams...
she died the next morning.
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
What's the difference between an American 12-year-old and an African 12-year-old? About 40 pounds.
You're so ugly the whole world faked a virus just so you could wear a mask.