Health jokes
Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?
Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.
Dad: She had to take the deep penis.
Son: Umm...... WHAT!?
Dad: I had to inject her with an EPIC PENIS.
Dad: Oh for god's sakes.
Dad: Epi Pen.
What do you call a food fight that's been going on for years?
A war of nutrition.
What happened to the gator when he walked into the hospital?
He became Gatorade.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abort!
Random post #2
Anne Frank: This one time at camp, someone had too much gas.
Your mum went to the dentist so she could install Bluetooth.
Sally fell off the swing.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Sally.
Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?
Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.
If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?
My family was like dinosaurs when they got COVID.
They both went extinct.
Know why they call gonorrhea gonorrhea?
'Cause once you have it, everyone is gone.
What do you call a javelin thrower with Parkinson’s?
Shakespeare.
Could it be ligma?
Ligma balls, daddy!
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
A: What did the podiatrist say to the double amputee?
Q: Sorry, but I can't help you.
Your bitch has Covid-19.
For so long, I thought I was a Gemini, apparently I'm Cancer!
What are all grandmas infected with? Defiantly not a parasite!