Health jokes
Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:
Sit-ups: 50
Push-ups: 40
Squats: 30
Do 5 sets.
Your mama is so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.
I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.
Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day when suddenly Johnny said, "Mom, I think I'm gonna throw up!"
Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there."
Johnny comes back a minute later, and his mom asks, "Did you make it?" Then Johnny said, "No, but there was a box by the door that SAID 'For The Sick!'"
Your mama is so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her sonβs dick tastes like blood.
How much do the bones in your body weigh?
A skele-ton!
How do the Powerpuff Girls vape?
They take a "power puff."
Why did he kill himself?
Because he is adopted to a fat man who farts.
You're so skinny, you probably wipe your ass with floss.
Ms. Norsworthy's chompers are so big they killed a kid once.
What's the worst part about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Arden is so fat!
Time for you to stop looking at jokes on worstjokesever.com and go to bed!
What is mad cow disease?
Ever had a migraine? Yeah, sorry thatβs my fault. Couple years ago, all my grains got loose.
Whatβs the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
The 9/11 and the Spanish flu are kind of similar.
The Spanish flu was a very dangerous flu, and in 9/11, something very dangerous flew.
What did the horse say when his throat was sore?
I have a hoarse throat!