Health Jokes

corona be like: eliminating half the population of boomers faster than Thanos *snap*

Jack and jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town game him a frown and his arms were pricked

Have you heard about the new russian std? Rottsmikokov

why did the doctor check out earth? he had a tummy quake

My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing minecraft all night. Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believe that at the time. But now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't

A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital. Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me. But I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheel chair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically ot will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guys says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"

Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be? In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢

one day I saw my friend in a hospital bed. He told me to call 911. Instead I called his parents.

Like if you are scared of Covid 19

What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.

Doctor : I can't treat you ORPHAN: WHy! Doctor :I'm a family Doctor

My dad told me a story today his mom my grandma said if a bird gets in ur house someone will die . That day a humming bird got in his U.P.S truck and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later she died .😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭