Health jokes
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad did not beat cancer.
Leo is more useless than a HEDGEHOG with ALOPECIA.
Jamal had 75 candy bars. He ate 65. What does he have now?
Diabetes.
My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.
I think the pollen count is a difficult job. Especially if you have hay fever.
The African kids' theme song is "Staying Alive."
What did the doctor say to the potato?
It told it it had tuberculosis.
Died and came back sped. I call that rien-tardation.
Me: I have an arrow in my head.
My friend: What's the point of that?
Me: Of the arrow?
Friend: No!
Me: Probably the flint.
What do my balls and emos have in common?
...Nothing, they both hang themselves...
You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!
The bright side of this pandemic is now both my hands look equally chapped and raw.
Why do people never kick their own balls?
Because they might lose one!
If I was going to the doctor, he asked me to turn around, and he stuck a nettle in my ass.
Yo mama eat so much that she threw up a thousand times and said, "Help me, son!"
Q: What is the most expensive haircut? A: Chemo therapy.
Why do I love a block? Because I can fall off the stairs.
I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.
Why do you like cream instead of bugs?
Because bugs can kill you.