Health jokes
What do you give a sick lemon?
A lemon-aid.
The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.
Person: My left ear is ringing.
Friend: Then answer it!
Why do I love a block? Because I can fall off the stairs.
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
god my penis itches
You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."
What would you do if you see a guy suffocating from the heat? I would call and dial 911, holy shit!
Me: I have an arrow in my head.
My friend: What's the point of that?
Me: Of the arrow?
Friend: No!
Me: Probably the flint.
What did the doctor say to the potato?
It told it it had tuberculosis.
But you could get plastic surgery and look 20 years younger. With that, no one will suspect you!
Repeat after me: shut up; shut up; I don’t shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
COVID-19. IN YOUR FACE! HAHA!
Why does cancer kill you? Because it does. 🌝
Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?
Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
🎉🎇🎊🎆🎈
Robert Smith walks into a hospital. The nurse says, "We have the cure!"
What is an old lady's favorite exercise?
Trying to get up from the soft couch.
Yo mama so fat, she can't pick up a dumbbell... the dumbbell pick her up.
What do you need an apple because you got an "izzy?"
Q: What is the most expensive haircut? A: Chemo therapy.