Health jokes

Why do women have periods? Because they deserve them!

What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!

I complimented my neighbor's skeleton decoration for Halloween, but they just told me that it's their anorexic daughter.

I wake up in the morning and I suck my teeth.

Kids- it's time for Dora.

Kids- YAY!

Nick Jr. host- Today Dora is going on a big adventure with Grandma.

Swiper- Hello kids, I am trying to find my way to Diego's. Will you please help me?

Kids- Where's Dora?

Swiper- She's under cardiac arrest.

Kids- Poor Dora.

Everybody- SWIPER NO SWIPING!

Swiper - AH MAN!!

Yo mama so ugly,

they won’t give her a vaccine so she can keep wearing her mask.

Only if Africa have enough mosquito nets, the mosquitos will not die of AIDS.

Why did the bike fall over?

It was too tired.

What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?

A wheel dealer.

Yo mama so stupid, she went to Dr. Pepper for a check up.

During Covid, lockdown went on for so long that even the agoraphobics got cabin fever.

A man awakes in a hospital and is confused. He decides to feel his legs, but to no avail. "Doctor, doctor!" He cries out. "What is it?" The doctor asks. "I can't feel my legs!" The doctor stands there for a moment - completely dumbfounded. ". . . That's because I amputated your arms."

Because all I do is pound it, man. I would put you on my "600 Pound Life" if you didn't weigh 1,000.

A man lost his left arm.

He's all right now.

My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up!

Died and came back sped. I call that rien-tardation.

What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?

Orthopediphilia.

Why did the man become stupid?

Cause he was suicidal, herbivorous. Ja...

How do you flatten curves?

With an abortion.

I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, "Stay Positive," to the corona patients.