Health jokes
Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?
In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢
Q: What time does an Asian go to the dentist?
A: 2:30
Q: What's an animation similar to Finding Nemo, but the fish has cancer? A: Finding Kemo.
Depressed people are lame because they are just lame, no reason.
What's the difference between cancer and me?
My dad didn't beat cancer... Whelp, I guess I stole that one.
Memes
I was about to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
Lung story short... ahqhahahah!
When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.
Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!
What's something the same about a depressed kid and a hanger? They both like to hang.
Anong tawag sa cake na may ubo?
Edi cough cake! NYHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAKAJAHA LT TLGA BOSIT
Like if I'm fine-ish.
You're so skinny you never gain weight. You're so skinny you're a thin stick.
Yo mama is so stupid, she took her dog to the vet because she thought he had a tube of lipstick stuck between his legs.
"Simon says touch your chin."
The fat people be like, "Which one?"
Jack and Jill ran up the hill to pop some pills,
And Jill said, "Jack can do her without here will," and Jack's penis was still.
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"
Just shit my pants and it ran all down my legs... last time I eat at Popeyes.
Fat people are thirsty, so I piss in their mouth.
Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?
"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"
Y’all can actually see them at all, my toe.