Health jokes
What did the dinosaur eat when the dentist fixed his tooth?
The dentist!
You know what's the worst about having a daughter with cancer?
You can't pull her hair when you hit it from the back.
What part of a vegetable can't you eat?
The wheelchair.
Q: What time does an Asian go to the dentist?
A: 2:30
Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?
In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢
What did the kid with Parkinson's drink for breakfast?
Milkshake.
Depressed people are lame because they are just lame, no reason.
Q: What's an animation similar to Finding Nemo, but the fish has cancer? A: Finding Kemo.
What's the difference between cancer and me?
My dad didn't beat cancer... Whelp, I guess I stole that one.
Always practice safe sex: paint an X on the sheep that kick.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.
My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."
People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor. Lol.
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.
You know the stupid trend where people say it’s ok to be overly obese? Healthy even? That you should take pride in it? Which idiots started that movement?
Well. We know one thing for sure. They were obviously members of a wider community.
Why are there no fat people in Japan?
Last time they had a "Fat Man," 80,000 people died.
You're so skinny you never gain weight. You're so skinny you're a thin stick.
Anong tawag sa cake na may ubo?
Edi cough cake! NYHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAKAJAHA LT TLGA BOSIT
When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.
Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!
Yo mama is so stupid, she took her dog to the vet because she thought he had a tube of lipstick stuck between his legs.
"Simon says touch your chin."
The fat people be like, "Which one?"