Health

Health jokes

Box

    • Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day when suddenly Johnny said, "Mom, I think I'm gonna throw up!"

    Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there."

    Johnny comes back a minute later, and his mom asks, "Did you make it?" Then Johnny said, "No, but there was a box by the door that SAID 'For The Sick!'"

    Aid

    • While undressing a woman, she told me she has AIDS. I told her she can't catch it twice, but she still kept screaming.

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    • Vegetarian

    • There is one difference between autistic kids and vegetarians.

    They're both vegetables in serotonin ways.

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    • Vape

    • Vape company: Hey, want some lung cancer and a nicotine addiction?

    Teens: NO WAY!

    Vape company: But it’s mango flavored!

    Teens: O OK. 😤

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    • Cat

    • Q: What do you call a cat living with a vet? A: A dead, shrivelled up cat on her death bed that is attached to their owner.

    Isn't It Purrfect!

    Name

    • 1. Full name: John.

    2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run.

    3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream.

    4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated.

    5. Mental health: mentally retarded.

    6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit.

    7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named Redwing and the lizard named Notail.

    8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock.

    9. Working motivation: none.

    I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John.

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