Health jokes
"Cancer gives you weed. It’s not healthy."
Why did the chiropractor go to jail? For not paying $75 in back taxes.
Most of his Taliban friends have more wives than teeth.
What is a part of a vegetable you can't eat?
The wheelchair.
Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.
He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.
For so long, I thought I was a Gemini, apparently I'm Cancer!
Lucky they're only balls, not real balls!
Yo, Dad is so skinny, he doesn't work out enough.
How do people get skinny?
Their parents don't feed them. (JOKE)
You're so ugly the whole world faked a virus just so you could wear a mask.
I can't stand up when I laugh hard; neither can they.
Yo momma so fat, when she went for a health consultation, the doc told her to make do with health insurance.
What do you call an Asian in a wheelchair? Sum Ting Wong.
What is the difference between me and cancer?
My mom did beat cancer.
Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.
Why does Aaron chug beer on a Wednesday?
Because his dad beats him every single day because he has scoliosis.
Yo mama so FAT... I tried to picture her in my head... AND SHE BROKE MY GOD DAMN NECK!
What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?
They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.
What’s the best way to make sure you don’t get COVID?
Suicide.