Health jokes
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some chips and sweets.
No, he can't keep his heart rate down, and she's got diabetes.
Why is the world split in half? Because fat people are weighing the Earth down.
Same old boring ass day, until a person with Parkinson's fainted and got everyone's attention.
He really shook things up today.
What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer?
There's no stage 5.
The cure for depression is around the corner... There it is, the train.
Your mum went to the dentist so she could install Bluetooth.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."
The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.
Why do Fortnite players have such good teeth?
Because they like to floss.
Depression sucks, and so do you.
"Chelsea is the most consistent team.
One win in August, one win in September, and one win in October; it's just like a menstrual cycle.
If they don't win in November, just know that they're pregnant." 😅
Why don't some people have balls? Because they play soccer with them.
Your hairline is gone because you never bathed or brushed.
Your mum's hairline was so long that you decided to get therapy.
I overdosed on Viagra yesterday.
It was the hardest day of my life.
What do you call a horde of Autistic kids?
A zombie Apocalypse!
Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh🧟
Where do spiders seek health advice? WebMD.
Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?
What's long and hard and has c*m in the middle? Cucumber. What were you thinking?
If Jonny ate 29 out of 30 chocolate bars what would he have? Diabetus. Jonny would have diabetus.
He pimples?