Health

Health jokes

What do you call a horde of Autistic kids?

A zombie Apocalypse!

Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh🧟

Hey, that's the thing my grandpa has. They say that to treat it, I should call him a bitch!

My brother apparently has this thing called "asthma". Anyway, I took his vape away today, and he was lying on the floor gasping for air, lol. He must really be addicted to it.

I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.

Doctor: Oh, I see.

Me: Ahhhh!!!!!

Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?

Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.

What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?

Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.

The 9/11 and the Spanish flu are kind of similar.

The Spanish flu was a very dangerous flu, and in 9/11, something very dangerous flew.

Technoblade: It is high vitamin B.

Quackiity: What does vitamin B stand for?

Technoblade: Broke.

I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.

Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.

I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.

When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"

I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."