Health jokes

You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.

Taco Bell makes you crappy.

Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.

You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."

What is the only place fat people live?

Obi-city.

What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.

Jack and Jill wanted some pills.

So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.

An autistic kid.

Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!

What can run, be an eyesore, and practice social distancing?

Your hairline.

What is a girl's favorite song when they are on their period?

"Period, oh period, oww!"

If just Africa had more mosquito nets, millions of innocent mosquitoes could be saved from a horrible death of AIDS.

What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?

One is finger-licking good, and the other is just a fast-food restaurant.

How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.

I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣

A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.

Me: Knock, knock.

Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?

The companies that made the hand gel sanitizer must be absolutely rubbing their hands together!

What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.

What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I see you, I see you; you would have to work out.