Jack and Jill wanted some pills.
So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.
Health Jokes
An autistic kid.
Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
What can run, be an eyesore, and practice social distancing?
Your hairline.
What is a girl's favorite song when they are on their period?
"Period, oh period, oww!"
If just Africa had more mosquito nets, millions of innocent mosquitoes could be saved from a horrible death of AIDS.
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One is finger-licking good, and the other is just a fast-food restaurant.
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.
I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣
A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.
Me: Knock, knock.
Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?
The companies that made the hand gel sanitizer must be absolutely rubbing their hands together!
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I see you, I see you; you would have to work out.
Father: I'm taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Doctor: I'm going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Why did the other Down syndrome guy say to the other Down syndrome guy?
What is going on here?
Breakfast! 😂
What’s worse than a girl getting a period?
A boy getting a period.
What’s the best way to get gum out of hair?
Cancer.
Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.
The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
