Who is the first person an orphan sees? The doctor.
Health Jokes
I cut my dick. It is all right now, and half the size but makes for excellent breakfast.
Q: What do you call a person with Down's syndrome who smokes weed?
A: Baked potato.
There's an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.
I hope my teacher will be ok.
Your mummy so skinny, she can't eat!
It's still depression, by the way.
A depressed guy walks into a bar and says, "Can I get shot?"
The bartender then says, "You mean, can you get a shot, right?"
The bartender then says, "Well... what drink would you like?"
The depressed guy then responds with, "No, I really want to get shot."
Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.
Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
What's the similarity between gay men and an ambulance?
They both take it in the back and go woop woop.
Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.
Less depresso, more espresso, I'm still depressed, but now I'm fast.
One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.
I have nut cancer...
Two cows are grazing in a field.
One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"
Why can't Oregon go to the doctor?
Because they need parents' signature.
Why did the orphan try to get hurt?
Because then they would get surrounded with people who care about him.
He looks around, no one is there.
Why aren't Down's syndrome jokes funny?
Because the format of them is ugly.
JACK AND JILL 2.0
After Jill went down the hill to get a pill,
Jack was screaming till his voice went nil,
And Jill screamed "Chill!"
