Health jokes
I see how it is y’all be buying toilet paper, stocking up from the Coronavirus, but where on the symptoms does it say diarrhea? Lol, why y’all be buying toilet paper, now I am just confused.
What's bald and can't grow no hair?
A kid with cancer.
Roses are red, my blood is too, And I've been seeing it a lot more, since I've lost you.
What is a good night sleep? I love it when you walk home and walk home from school and walk home and walk home from home and walk home and get a good night walk and walk home from school and walk home from school and walk home from school and walk home from school and walk home from...
I did a good walk and I...
What is stuck between a doorway?
Rebel Wilson.
Snow White and the six Dwarfs, Sneezy was caught by covid-19 quarantine!
They say I'll mess up my insides, but I don't have any.
"Cancer isn't real. It's probably special effects."
*The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*
*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*
Well what am I gonna do now...
Why don’t oranges 🍊 go around blind?
Because they take Vitamin See!
If you have a broken bone, do you have broken skin?
Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?
Because it never runs out of juice.
Every time I go to the store I look in the deodorant section and my dyslexia acts up. Instead of "antiperspirant," I read "antidepressant." At least I get a bunch of extra snacks out of my shopping mistakes.
Q: What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
A: Leukemia.
Kid: I have the corona virus!
Nurse: Here is an ice pack.
Why did the poop cross the street? Because it was trying to get in the toilet.
When I went to the doctor, he pulled his wife in and said, "What do you see?"
I replied, "A fat bitch." He said, "Ok, your eyesight is perfect."
How do chickens 🐔 get stronger and stronger?
They egg-xercise every day!
I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is £1,000."
But that's not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.