Health jokes
What’s the worst part about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair.
Ahh, the coronavirus!
My dad always used to beat me, but he never beat cancer.
Me: Imagine not having hair.
Kids: On chemo.
Bitch the fuck.
Corona be like:
Eliminating half the population of boomers faster than Thanos.
*snap*
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Social distancing.
Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea.
Why did only blonds show up at Saturday's party during the Corona crisis?
Because their computers flashed, "Virus blocked!"
Fat people are thirsty, so I piss in their mouth.
Time for you to stop looking at jokes on worstjokesever.com and go to bed!
Is depression sadness or happiness? I call it a fun time.
How come the toilet paper could not make it across the road?
Because of the Corona Virus.
What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?
Dumb.
What is the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopin.
What is the healthiest fruit?
An orange 🍊—It takes Vitamin See!
"hvhuhdsjcjdsijdskdsivhdsvhsjdvnsjdvdshvgdshgsdhfgh" That's what my friend said when he gave an EpiPen. I don't know why, though.
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
The only profession where one could have coronavirus and still go to work is a suicide terrorist.
I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?