Gun jokes
I own a gun with Nazi rounds and shot a guy who broke into my house. He said, “Did you just shoot me with a Nazi round?” and I replied, “Do you mean Nein millimeter?”
So I was being robbed, and this guy had the gun to my head, so I told him he was holding it backwards.
I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.
My victims still scream.
Gun control...
What do guns and women have in common?
They both get cocked and loaded.
When the school shooter walks by the emo kid and doesn’t feel his gun anymore.
I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.
One time, Little Johnny heard his parents "wrestling" in their bed. So the next morning, he went to rape all the little girls in school. This then led to his demise.
No girls told on him, but when he grew up, he was a raper. He never stopped. In total, "little" Johnny had over 31 sons that he didn't know about. When he was sentenced to jail, he raped all the inmates despite his small figure. He was then sent to the death sentence, "eagle wing" torture style.
His parents were happy he died, and the morbid rapist was put down, never to return again. However, all the sons had his genes, including his MINDSET. They then became a cult and shot down 2014 cops, 471 military members and 72951 males and females. The kids, you ask? Only the males were spared, and taught how to operate the guns. All but 419 females were killed. They soon became the world's strongest empire. No one could stop Little Johnny's sons. NO ONE.
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.
What do you call a AK-47 that lost 1 point?
An AK-46.
A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.
The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."
Guns don't kill people, black people kill people.
A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"
I bought a rainbow gun, but for some reason it doesn’t shoot straight.
The Columbine High School basketball team hasn't been the same since they lost their two best shooters.
What's a fetus' favorite gun? A micro SMG.
Imagine you're playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1: shoot someone Option 2: suicide
Me: Aren't they the same thing?
in can re;ate to this its always going through my mind
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.
I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly, a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs.
Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.