Gun Jokes

me: do you ever just walk into a room and forget what you were doing?

bank teller: [eyes wide] uhhhhh

me: *scratches head with gun* man, i hate it when this happens

boss: you're fired

me: *turns in my gun and my badge*

boss: you're a waiter where did you get those

Knott and Shott got into a gunfight. Knott was shot and Shott was not. Therefore it was better to be Shott than Knott. But what if the shot Shott shot didn't hit Knott but Shott? Then the shot Shott shot shot Shott.

A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point. The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."

A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: "Shut up ... you're next!"

What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone? -a VEGUN

My doctor said "you have 1year to live"

I said " you wanna bet"

Bam a gun shot

I own a gun with Nazi rounds and shot a guy who broke into my house. He said “did you just shoot me with a Nazi round?” and I replied “do you mean Nein millimeter?”

Where is the cheapest gun range? Your local public school

in can re;ate to this its always going through my mind

the columbine high school basketball team hasnt been the same since they lost there 2 best shooters

What do you call a group of depressed kids with guns

The suicide squad

Me and my stepmom went into the forest.I think I hid the body pretty well but now I have to hide the gun.

Whats the only gun that doesn't exist in africa? A water gun

Every body loves guns! Everytime I show them mine, they give me free stuff.

I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.