Gun jokes
I bought a rainbow gun, but for some reason it doesn’t shoot straight.
What's the difference between a yandere and a gun?
Nothing.
Flip them off the wrong way and you're dead.
Teacher: We have a new student today class, come introduce yourself.
Student: My name is Buttitches.
Teacher: Please tell us your real name.
Student: Buttitches.
Teacher: I’m calling the police.
Police: Son, please tell me your real name or I’m going to shoot you.
Student: Buttitches.
Police: *shoots gun.*
A few days later, the police go to the funeral and sits behind the mom. While crying, the mom says, "My Buttitches!" The police say, "We’ll scratch it, lady."
Three people explored the jungles, one was from France, one from Britain, and the other from America.
While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three, "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However, we aren't that heartless, so we'll let you choose your deaths."
So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head, and said "Viva la France!" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested poison and said, "For the Queen!" and drank the poison. Lastly, the American asked for a spoon. The tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself, "Try make a canoe out of this one!"
Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?
'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.
Gun + Backpack = Fun!
What was the last thing that went through JFK's mind? A bullet.
I gave a blind kid a gun, telling him it was a hair drier.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital?
Reload and keep shooting.
There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.
Why are so many Americans stupid? Because they shoot the ones that go to school.
*School shooting happens*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk*
American student: "First time?"
If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.
What's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school?
When you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)
My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.
Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.
I wanted to solve teen suicide, so I shot up a middle school.
I was gonna do a school shooter joke, but it was aimed at younger audiences.