Round jokes

I was literally cradlesnatched as a child.

Yeah, in the arms of an older woman experiencing my first rounds of motorboating.

Your hairline is so wonky, "Wheels on the Bus" goes round and round on your hairline.

Wheels on the bus go round and round Round and round round and round Wheels on the bus go round and round All through the town.

Horn on the bus goes beep beep beep Beep beep beep beep beep beep Horn on the bus goes beep beep beep All through the town.

The sheep on the bus goes baa baa baa Baa baa baa baa baa baa The sheep on the bus goes baa baa baa All through the town.

A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.

One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."

Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round? Because he was an odd man out!

9/11 was a round of Clash of Clans. They knocked down two towers, not three.

Why do American guns only have 30 rounds?

Because it's the average class size.

And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said, "Are you going to ask for directions, or what?"

"I heard a noise in the basement! I'm gonna go to my friend's house and play Minecraft with him until the noise I heard goes away."

"I heard a noise in the basement. I'm gonna go down there with a bazooka and thirty thousand rounds of pistol ammo and fifty thousand pistols."

Said no horror movie character ever.

And also GTA logic.

What's big and round?

Mine and not yours.

I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.

So, y'all remember Hitler, right?

Ok, so I own a gun with Nazi rounds. I shot a guy who was entering my home who wasn't invited. He said, "Did you shoot me with Nazi rounds?" Then I said, "Do you mean 'nein' millimeter?"

How do you confuse a blonde?

Tell them to stand in the corner in a round room.

I still remember the third of December, me in your sweater. You said it looked better on me than it did you. Only if you knew how much I liked you. But I watch your eyes as she walks by. What a sight for sore eyes, Brighter than the blue sky. She's got you mesmerized while I die. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. Wish I were Heather. Watch as she stands with her, holding your hand. Put your arm 'round her shoulder, now I'm getting colder. But how could I hate her, she's such an angel. But then again, kinda wish she were dead as she walks by. What a sight for sore eyes. Brighter than the blue sky. She's got you mesmerized while I die. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. I wish I were Heather. Oh, I wish I were Heather. Oh, oh, wish I were Heather. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. Wish I were-

What is a definition of tight?

A. Putting a blind man in a round room and saying, "Your dinner's in the corner."

The wheels on the wheelchair go round and round.

What is round and squishy? A dead baby's head.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.

Dad: Where is my son?

Son: Come join me with musical chairs, except we stand on them.

Dad: Ok, so do we put this round our neck?

Son: YES!

Mum: AHHHHHHHHHHHH

What do a circle and a sphere have in common?

They're round, and round is a shape.