I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital.
The wheels on the bus go round and round!
I told my girlfriend that the world is flat.
She said, "but the world is round."
I said, babe, you are my world.
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station while Manners tried to help Shit.
When Shut up got to the police station he says, "My brother has just been hit by a car."
The policeman replied with, "OK then, first I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"No, I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"Excuse me, but where are your manners?"
"Round the corner picking up shit."
Sonic can run around the world in a second.
In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song? "The wheels on the chair go round and round....."
Why did Michael Jackson like having little boys round him? He was studying for the priesthood.
I own a gun with Nazi rounds and shot a guy who broke into my house. He said, “Did you just shoot me with a Nazi round?” and I replied, “Do you mean Nein millimeter?”
I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.
Flat Earthers
Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
What's the difference between cake and pie?
πr2, cakes are round.
It's embarrassing when there is no toilet paper and you need to go and get one with your pants down. Luckily, the supermarket is just around the corner.
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off."
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender and asked, "May I please use the restroom?"
The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."
"Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun.
So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause!
She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?"
"No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out."
Now, how about that drink?
A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.
What do you not say to an Emo if you want them to come round? "Wanna hang out."
I just finished my fourth round of baby back ribs. For some reason, everyone else at the abortion center is staring at me.
