Gun jokes

I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.

I went to the shooting range the other day. After a while, I realized I was the only one there. So, I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene. Man, I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.

Famous last words:

"Don't worry man, it's not even loaded."

What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?

They both light up the room.

How to kill a blind person.

Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.

A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"

My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.

Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.

Warning, this is dark.

How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch? Give 'em a Sandy Hook.

Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?

A. An assault rifle.

I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.

Woman: "I want coffee, black."

Cop: *takes out gun* "WHERE?!"

So, I was at a funeral the other day, and it was a school shooting mass funeral. The lady beside me asked me, “What do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “Probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “How dare you! You have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “Well, they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”

What is Jesus' favorite gun?

A nail gun.

Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?

Their focus is always off.

When a school shooter walks to the intercom and plays Pumped Up Kicks.

Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.

His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."

Is a disabled person who has no arms but has guns armed or not armed?

What’s an abbreviation for school in America?

Shooting range.

Jokes just as dead as the victims.

What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.