Gun

Gun Jokes

School shooting

My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.

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  • Adolf Hitler

    A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"

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  • Pistol

    Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.

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  • Sandy Hook

    Warning, this is dark.

    How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch? Give 'em a Sandy Hook.

    School shooting

    So, I was at a funeral the other day, and it was a school shooting mass funeral. The lady beside me asked me, “What do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “Probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “How dare you! You have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “Well, they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”

    School shooting

    The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"

    The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"

    The school shooter: "I don't know."

    The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."

    Roulette

    I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.

    ADHD

    Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?

    Their focus is always off.

    Desert eagle

    Teacher: What's your favorite animal?

    Me: Desert Eagle.

    Teacher: Why?

    Me: 'Cause it fits in my backpack.

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  • Suicide

    A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.

    Shotgun

    Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?

    Because he's always calling shotgun.