Gun Jokes

Q: what does a microwave and an M1 Garand have in common? A:They both go “ping” when they’re done

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low and the cliff was non existent and now you took the poison !"

What’s the only time you can do almost whatever you want

When you have a gun in you hand

I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works. My victims still scream.

When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering but you walk toward his gun; "I will finish what you started."

I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.

What do you get if you cross an avocado and a Glock? Glockomole

*guy feels something on his back* “oh god, please let that be a rifle” “Nope. I’m just real happy to see you”

Q: What did I find on my son's search history. A:Where is the nearest gun shop.

what did the pedophile say to the kid. "roses are red ,my name is dan ,i have a gun get in the van"

my friend: hey i got 15 kills! me: i got 60 kills! my friend: i didn't know you played call of duty! me: whats call of duty?

whats the difference between a gun and chips when you bring it to class everyone starts wanting to be your friend.

Why is a gun like a box of chocolates? If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.

What do you call a black person with an gun black opps

What's the difference between a yandere and a gun Nothing Flip them off the wrong way and your dead

I bought a rainbow gun but for some reason it doesn’t shoot straight

Teacher: We have new student today class, come introduce yourself. Student: my name is Buttitches Teacher: Please tell us your real name. Student: Buttitches. Teacher: I’m calling the police. Police: son please tell me your real name or I’m going to shot you. Student: Buttitches. Police: shots gun... A few days the police goes to the funeral and sits behind the mom. While crying the mom says my buttitces the police says we’ll scratch it lady

3 people explored the jungles, one was was France, one from Britain, and the other from America. While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However we aren't that heartless so we'll let you choose your deaths." So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head and said "Viva la France" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested for poison and said "For the queen" and drank the poison. Lastly the American asked for a spoon, the tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself "Try make a canoe out of this one!"