Great

Great jokes

Competition

    • Mr. Smith: Neona, tell us what you have for the biggest competition that we can do to keep our competitors out of the winning streak?

    Neona: Will thought we used more sales and more advertising.

    Mr. Smith: It's already a good idea. Now what about the business plan? We need it as recommendations to keep the business going. Tell me, what do you have in mind?

    Neona: It is better to always have a plan. I was thinking that we can get higher prices and always get great deals. The people will go nuts for a great deal!

    Mr. Smith: Perfect. Now let's take a 5 minute break.

    Mr. Smith: Ok, 5 minutes is up! Now Neona, I know you are an intern, but what are the best things we can do for the company?

    Neona: Hmm...let's see...will we can start with all the things people love! If this is going to work then we have have to......

    Homework

    • Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"

    Student: "Meat!"

    Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"

    Student: "Bacon!"

    Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

    Student: "Homework!"

    Great memes

    Camouflage

    • A German, a Swiss, and a Russian make a bet: whoever has the most forest area in their country wins about 10,000 euros.

    First, they fly over Switzerland: 8,000 square kilometers of forest. The German starts getting cold feet, as he doesn't think he'll win. Next, they fly over Russia: 50,000 square kilometers of forest. The German realizes he doesn't stand a chance unless he cheats.

    When they fly over Germany, they see 10,000 square kilometers of forest. The German seems to have won, but then the Swiss shouts: "That's a tree!" The German was accused of fraud.

    The German is furious. He calls the head of the Bundeswehr: "Why did the tree move?!" The boss said, "I'll put the guy who moved on the line," and passed the receiver over.

    "Why did you move?" the German asked.

    The young man replied: "Okay, when a dog came along and peed on my trunk, that was still fine. But then a bear came along and rubbed against my trunk..."

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    • Grammar

    • I'm great!! I'm good. I'm doing good hahaha. I mean "well" haha! Haha I'm doing well, not good! Haha I'm not doing good! I'm not doing so good.

    Condom

    • True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.

    Relationship

    • 1st graders: Ay yo girl, I think you’re beautiful, let’s get married!!

    2nd graders: Uhh, don’t tell my mom that we’re dating!! She won’t let me date! Let’s keep this a seeeeecret heeheehee.

    3rd graders: Uh, my teacher told me to stay after school because I wrote a poem about you and I’m 9 years old, we have to break up, sweetie.

    4th graders: Hey, I think you’re cute!! Wanna date? I don’t think my girlfriend will mind.......

    5th graders (they start wearing makeup): Ay girl, your eyelashes are pretty, I like you now, wanna date? Here’s my numberrrrrr.

    6th graders: Heyyyyy, I gotta tell you a secret, I got a crush on you!! Don’t tell anyone!! Byeee, ooh, I’ll text you later!

    7th graders: We need to make Peyton jealous because she broke up with you!! Wanna date? I mean, you’re not hot, but still, great personalityyyyy, alright, bye now.

    8th graders: Hi sweetheart, I got STARRRBUCKKKSSS

    Me: UGLY AF AND LITERALLY NO BOYFRIEND.....