40+ Grand Jokes - Worst Jokes Ever

Wish

30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven. God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way. The first lady, she was obsessed with her looks, so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish. The next person didn't know what to wish for, so they wished for the same thing. The guy in the very back was laughing, having a grand old time. Then God got to the person before the last. He said the same, he wished to be beautiful. When God got to the last person, he said, "I want them all to be ugly again."

Race

What is a retard's favorite race? The grand autismo.

Ring

Ariana Grande had 7 husbands, so she had 7 rings.

River

Toto is at school and asks if he can go to the bathroom. The teacher says no.

Then, she asks Toto, “Where is the biggest river in the world?”

“Under my bench,” he replies.

Yo mama

Yo mama's hairline got so many peaks and valleys, you thought you were looking at the Grand Canyon.

Language

if you get this i love you

The image shows a comparison between common phrases used in anti-Formula 1 memes and actual phrases used during races. The left column, labeled "Instead of," features phrases like "The race is underway," "I need a new set of tires," "Good job!," "And he has spun!," and "And Leclerc has won the Italian Gp!" The right column, labeled "Say:" offers more authentic race commentary such as "And it's lights out and away we go!," "Bono, my tires are dead," "Get in there, Lewis!," "Spinalla" and "CHARLES LECLERC WINS THE ITALIAN GRAND PRIX FOR THE SCUDERIA FERRARI! (the most unrealistic one under these circumstances)."

End

He turns, he shoots!

And that is a horrible end to the Grand National...

Wizard

I am the grand wizard, mak.

Ring

How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?

She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.

Orphan

What is the best feeling for an orphan when he plays Grand Theft Auto?

When he is wanted!

Problem

When Ariana Grande broke up with Pete, she said, "I have one less problem without you."

Ariana Grande

TIL Ariana Grande is actually a pop singer.

I thought it was a fancy coffee for white supremacists.

Woman

Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.

Otter

What do you call an otter video game that is about robbing?-

Grand Theft Otter!

Titanic

My grandmother made her passage on the Titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.

Dog

I should name my dog Ariana Grande.

That way I could say that I fucked Ariana Grande.

Store

Ariana Grande was in the store, and when she put her groceries on the counter, she said, "Thank you, next!"

Date

I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.

Woman

When Ariana Grande walked into the church, she said, "GOD IS A WOMAN!"

American

How many Americans does it take to fill the Grand Canyon?

4

Ariana Grande

Ariana Grande

Depression jokes