Grand Jokes

Ashton grace

30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way the first lady she was obsessed with her looks so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish the next person didn't know what to wish for so they wish for the same thing the guy in the very back was laughing having a grand old time then god got to the person before the last he aaid the same he wished to be beautiful when God got to the last person he said I want them all to be ugly again.


A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds. An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town. On a hunch, he checked the town's cantina, and sure enough, there was the robber. The only other people in the bar were the bartender and a scrawny, older man at a back table. The time was right to make a move. The ranger drew his revolver, charged into the cantina, and announced: "You are under arrest. I get a reward for you, dead or alive. Tell me where the money is, and I'll let you live. If you don't, I'll shoot you right here, and save myself the trouble of having to take you back to Texas alive." But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. As it turned out, the scrawny man at the back of the bar happenedd to be a lawyer. He knew the robber, and was bilingual, and quickly offered to translate for the two of them. The ranger said: "Tell him that if he doesn't tell me where the loot is, I'll shoot him here and now." Upon hearing what the Ranger had said, and seeing the cold look in his eye, the bandit knew that the Ranger meant it - if he did not give up his loot, he was a dead man. Terrified, the bandit blurted out in Spanish that the loot was buried in an old barn at the outskirts of town. "What did he say?" asked the Ranger. The lawyer answered: "He said, 'You don't have the nerve to shoot me, Yankee swine.'"

in America

How many Americans does it take to fill the Grand Canyon?


in Lip

your lips are so big it turns the grand canyon side ways

in French

English: Toto is at school and asks if he can go to the bathroom. The teacher says no. Then, she asks Toto, “Where is the biggest river in the world?” “Under my bench,” he replies.

French: Toto est à l’école et demande s’il peut aller au salle de bain. La maîtresse dit non. Puis, elle demande à Toto, “Où est le plus grand riviere du monde ?” “Sous mon banc,” il répond.

Allan C.
in Sport

He turns, he shoots!

And that is a horrible end to the Grand National...

in Funny

Ariana Grande had 7 husbands, so she had 7 rings.

Ariana's hitlers daughter
in Ariana Grande

What kind of air does Ariana breathe?


in Orphan

What are is the best feeling for an Orphan when he playes Grand Theft Auto?

When he is wanted

How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door? She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.

in Woman

Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.


What is a retards favorite race? The grand autismo

in Funny

When ariana grande broke up with pete she said she has on less problem with out you.

Meme lord
in Animal

What do you call a otter video game that is about robbing?- Grand Theft Otter!

in Funny

When ariana grande walked into the chruch she said GOD IS A WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

in Ariana Grande

TIL Ariana Grande is actually a pop singer. I thought it was a fancy coffee for white supremacists.

Today Me and My Best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge and i told him to back up, R.I.P to him.

in America

how many Americans does it take to fill the grand canyon