30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven. God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way. The first lady, she was obsessed with her looks, so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish. The next person didn't know what to wish for, so they wished for the same thing. The guy in the very back was laughing, having a grand old time. Then God got to the person before the last. He said the same, he wished to be beautiful. When God got to the last person, he said, "I want them all to be ugly again."
What is a retard's favorite race? The grand autismo.
Ariana Grande had 7 husbands, so she had 7 rings.
Toto is at school and asks if he can go to the bathroom. The teacher says no.
Then, she asks Toto, “Where is the biggest river in the world?”
“Under my bench,” he replies.
He turns, he shoots!
And that is a horrible end to the Grand National...
Yo mama's hairline got so many peaks and valleys, you thought you were looking at the Grand Canyon.
I am the grand wizard, mak.
How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?
She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.
When Ariana Grande broke up with Pete, she said, "I have one less problem without you."
What is the best feeling for an orphan when he plays Grand Theft Auto?
When he is wanted!
TIL Ariana Grande is actually a pop singer. I thought it was a fancy coffee for white supremacists.
Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.
What do you call a otter video game that is about robbing?- Grand Theft Otter!
Ariana Grande was in the store, and when she put her groceries on the counter, she said, "Thank you, next!"
I should name my dog Ariana Grande.
That way I could say that I fucked Ariana Grande.
Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.
My grandmother made her passage on the Titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.
I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.
When Ariana Grande walked into the church, she said, "GOD IS A WOMAN!"
How many Americans does it take to fill the Grand Canyon?
4
