God Jokes


[god creating alligators] God: see that log? Angel:yes...? God: now fill it with teeth. Angel: say again? God: FILL IT WITH TEETH


[god creating sharks] god: ok give them 3 rows of teeth. Angel: seems excessive but ok. God: and make them mean as hell. Angel: wtf y. God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO. Angel:.... god: and make one of the types have a hammer for a head angel: why do I still work for you? God: because I’m the only employer as of right now.


in Yo mama

yo mamma so ugly that even god said be gone DEMON!

Mario Baconsax III

Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.



Hey God what are you making?

Just a wooden stick that lights on fire

sounds like a match made in heaven



[God creating spiders] God: make it have 8 legs Angel: ok? bit excessive but ok God: and 8 eyes Angel: You need to calm down and li- God: give it a butt rope


God's racist. He separated light from dark.


Jake Paul

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!” She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”




Why did God create gay men? So fat girls could dance




What did God say when he made Jake Paul?

Oops, I made a mistake.


in Yo mama

Your mama is so fat. Even God couldn't raise her spirit.

~meiko v3~

in Plague

doctors in the middle ages, Plague doctor: "i must have some herbs to block out bad air" docters now: "God, wtf were we doing back then"


Beautiful people should read this quote: “God gave you beauty but not brains.”


Really gotta love all the morons who instead of sharing irrevent dark jokes they say the stupidest shit pertaining to christianism.

UnKn0wN Gl!tCh

God: i feel like i'm forgetting something....... oh no Earth *sees it on fire* oh it's fine People of Earth: *running and screaming* Santen: *to God* realy

GG Miller

yo mamma so fat when God said let there be light he was just asking her to get out the way

try me

What did god say when he made the black human? Oh no i burnt another one



I thought god didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face



What did god say to the black person Oops I burned one😳

Not racist just funny


ur mom is so fat that when god said " let there be light, " he asked you to move out the way