Beautiful people should read this quote: “God gave you beauty but not brains.”
I thought god didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face
My current love life is like a god. It’s not real
[god creating a jellyfish] God: how about an evil bag
If were all gods children.. whats so special about jesus?
I saw a kid crying i asked him whats wrong,where are your parents. They paused and looked at me funny... GOD I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE.
A guy runs into a bar, and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
What where the twin towers plains
Gods playing Jenga
One day there were two muffins in an oven, one of the muffins said, "man its hot in here." The other one said "Oh my god! A talking muffin!!!"
God: you're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: douvle it and give it to the next person
And God said to John, "Come forth and you shall be granted eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
jesus and satan are just basically homer and flanders. one tries to help the other, only for satan to just say "shut up".
One day, a preist and a nun went to play golf together. In the first shot, the preist missed his shot and said “Fuck I missed it.” The nun replied “Hey you should not curse.” In the second shot, the preist missed his shot again and said “Fuck I missed again.” The nun replied “Hey stop swearing, or else god will punish you.” In the next shot, the preist missed once again. He shouted “Fuck this, this game is bullshit.” The nun replied “Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime.” Suddenly, a thunderbolt stroke the nun and killed her, the clouds separated from the sky and there was a voice in the sky saying “Oh fuck I missed.”
you're so ugly that Everytime you look up in the sky god say sorry can't help you
whats the diffrence between my dad and the milk man
the milk man comes back with the god damn milk
What did God say when he made Jake Paul?
Oops, I made a mistake.
I saw an orphan crying the other day, so I ask, "where are your parents?" God, I love working at an orphanage:)