God

God Jokes

A guy runs into a bar, and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”

The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”

The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”

One day there were two muffins in an oven, one of the muffins said, "man its hot in here." The other one said "Oh my god! A talking muffin!!!"

And God said to John, "Come forth and you shall be granted eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

jesus and satan are just basically homer and flanders. one tries to help the other, only for satan to just say "shut up".

One day, a preist and a nun went to play golf together. In the first shot, the preist missed his shot and said “Fuck I missed it.” The nun replied “Hey you should not curse.” In the second shot, the preist missed his shot again and said “Fuck I missed again.” The nun replied “Hey stop swearing, or else god will punish you.” In the next shot, the preist missed once again. He shouted “Fuck this, this game is bullshit.” The nun replied “Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime.” Suddenly, a thunderbolt stroke the nun and killed her, the clouds separated from the sky and there was a voice in the sky saying “Oh fuck I missed.”