Go jokes
Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?
I was going to make a bulimia joke, but suddenly it just felt so empty.
I was going to tell a ghost joke, but it just seemed so mean-spirited.
Why did the rapper go to space?
To drop some ASTRONOMICAL bars!
Why did the ass go to therapy?
It couldn't deal with all the crap.
master mind
What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To fix his flow.
I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"
What's the similarity between your money and your life?
It just keeps going down.
Siri is so ugly that she needs to go in the dumpster. She's so ugly that she needs to go in the toilet.
Me: Hey, are you going to Sawcon?
Sensei: What is that?
Me: Saw con deez nu...
Sensei: Oh, is it for people with ligma?
Me: What’s ligm...
Sensei: 😈
Me: no no no no
Sensei: Ligma ba...
Damn, the guy who made the "Whip/Nae Nae" song really made his cousin go Silento.
Your hairline goes so far back, your mom is scared you're not going to make friends.
Why can’t orphans build anything?
Because they can’t go to Home Depot.
Why did the pig decline to go to the farmer's house?
He would take him to a "pignic."
Jack is a ugly meany who’s not going to my birthday!
Is anyone going to Sawcon?
What's the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Their kneecaps.
Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.
When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.
Why can't white people go to Blackpool? Cuz they're not black.