God said the first person to kill Hitler goes to heaven.
Hitler: Kills himself.
Go Jokes
Why do nuns go around in pairs?
So one nun makes sure the other nun doesn't get none!
What do sperm say while just in?
"We need to go deeper."
Where do you go if you lost a pencil?
Office Works! They have solved loads of pencil cases.
NASA is going to probe Uranus, and it might take a while to get there.
This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
Asian conversation:
Person 1: Ni hao, how's it going?
Person 2: Konnichiwa, what's up?
Person 1: I've bing chilling.
I was naughty at school and my teacher said she's going to tell my dad. I was like, "Who's that?"
Why did the cats go in the litterbox?? To take a poop!
Mom: Son, where are my condoms?
Son: What are condoms?
Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.
Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?
Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.
Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.
A Chinese teacher's phone rang as he was going to class, and he said:
"My phone the ring ring, it's my wife ring ring."
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
Boy/girl: I love you.
Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.
The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*
Me: Let's go to Randy's.
Friend: There's no Randy's.
Me: Ran deez nuts with a car.
If Jeffy goes to an orphanage, he will die. How is he supposed to move?
Where do depressed people go to eat?
Suicide Sonic.
Here’s a joke, go look in a mirror.
What came first, the chicken or the egg?
I don't know, go google it.
The bank said go to the river bank. Oh, oh, oh, good fishy joke!
