Go jokes
What are they going to say about Tim Gunn in 20 years?
He kicked the bucket.
Ah, you wanna read a cheeseburger joke for your friends to hear.
Nah, bro, you're just going to get cheese on your burger.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
🎉🎇🎊🎆🎈
Why did the bodybuilder go to the crustacean church?
Because it was a good source of mussel mass!
Why don't orphans go skydiving?
Because they don't have the "Morley."
true
Go fuck yourself!
What’s the cow's favorite place to go? The moovies!
BlessedBrian’s sense of humor is like a GPS without signal... LOST and going NOWHERE.
Why did the DJ go to therapy?
Because he had too many issues with his TURNTABLE.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
Because they're all about those DENTAL GRILLS!
Why did the rapper go to the zoo?
To find some WILD BEATS.
Two needles go to the river. One of them says, "I'm sorry!"
Are your hairline and forehead friends? Because they go way back.
A pair of Newfies decide to visit Toronto. They drive through Nova Scotia, through New Brunswick, through Montréal, Kingston, Oshawa... then they see a sign that says "Toronto Left", so they turn back around and go home.
Yo mama is so ugly that even scammers wouldn't go after her money.
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places.
He told me to stop going to those places.
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
My Grandma, like any other, got an APPLE IPHONE 12, but as we all know, we get dumb, and so we buy a phone. My grandma did not even know how to use it. She even said, "How do I go on Google?" I told her, "YOU CAN'T!" My grandma was, like, "Yeah right, how do I do it?"
Comment down below, does your grandma do this?
Elmo: Welcome to the new micronation of Tickelandia.
Dude: Why are we close to Disneyland?
Kid: I don't know.
Elmo: Rule 1, you must not tell the forests or Bob Iger about us.
Meanwhile, Officer: Come on, Elmo, you're going to prison.
*Officer arrests Elmo*
Elmo: But who wants tickles?
A toaster and a slice of whole wheat bread sit together in the sauna.
After five minutes, the bread starts to sweat extremely and says: "Oh, I think I'm going to be a toast in here!"
The toaster just looks at it bored from the side and replies: "Don't get upset. I'm just here to really switch off."