Go jokes

Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.

I said I was going to my flat. I really meant your girl.

I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”

“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”

As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.

Why do orphans always go to white vans when someone asks?

Because they want to feel wanted.

There's one shop orphans can't go to, but what is it?

Home Depot.

Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.

Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)

What was going through the head of a 9/11 victim on the 88th floor?

The 89th floor.

Someone asked me to go to hell, so I drove to my local middle school.

The orphan wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.

Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones.

North Tower: "Hey, South Tower, we can talk later; I gotta catch a plane!"

What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?

No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.

Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...

Voting is like doing a group project in school.

I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.

Me going to jail after telling the orphan he can't learn about ancient Egypt because he don't know what a mummy is.

I've been going to the dentist for a while now, I know the drill.

A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,

"It's an elevator, not a lift!"

and

"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"

He keeps going on until the Englishman says,

"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."

An alien goes to Area 51, but I wonder why he doesn't go to your house?

Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback!