Go jokes
Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*
Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.
Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?
Name something an orphan can't do?
Go cry to their mommy.
People's music when friends are around: *rock*
When they are gone: "Come on, vamanos, everybody let's go!"
Why did the son go to the store?
To find his dad.
What did one candle say to the other?
"Want to go out tonight?"
So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.
I can't decide if I like rocking chairs or not.
I keep going back and forth on them.
Girl: Dad, where are you?
Dad: I went to go get milk.
Girl: But we have milk.
Dad: I know, I just don't love you.
What is the toughest part of the human body?
Anal hair, all the shit that they go through.
Why did he go to the chiropractors?
To get his spine fixed.
I had to go to my friend's house.
I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???
Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.
You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.
What happens to emo kids when they go up?
They never come down.
I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.
You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.
OK, OK, what's up with the fake Gwens? I am going to use a test to see who is real or not.
The real Gwen will know this. When did I come onto this website? Next question, what is my real name, and do I go on cursing rampages? Only the real Gwen can complete this test with the right answers.
A Mario & Luigi joke.
What are the Mario bros' view on child support?
Mario: The parents are obligated to provide for the child and help them the best they could.
Luigi: LMAO I GOTTA GO!
So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.
Why were the students jealous of the orphan?
He never had any homework!
(I'm going to hell for this)