Go Jokes

Hi, oooo was the day I was a kid. I was going home to school today after dinner!

An alien goes to Area 51, but I wonder why he doesn't go to your house?

What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?

No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.

Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.

About to go on a date.

But she was late.

So I got some tape.

And eventually punished her with rape.

A screenshot of a Spotify playlist titled "how to fall down a staircase." The playlist includes songs titled: "Step 1 (with Offset)," "Step 2," "Step 5," "Step 8," "Step 13," "Step 25," and "Floor."

Angela: Kris, I just met the nicest, sweetest guy ever.

Kristie: Who is he and what is his name?

Angela: His name is Kevin.

Kristie: Kevin? I remember him. He said he had to go to Italy for a meeting, never seen him after that. What the hell is Kevin doing here?

Angela: I don't know.

Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?

Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.

Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.

Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.

Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.

Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?

Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?

You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesn’t know you're there.

A morbid joke would be what's going on in my mind.

This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.

Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.

Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.

What takes 10 seconds to go SLPAT! on the ground?

9/11 victim!

There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.

What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.

Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.

Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.

I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.

I needn't have bothered.

The next day, it was smeared all over my face.

Imagine going up to an emo and saying, "You're just like a spider, you're both good at hanging."

Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!