Go jokes

A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,

"It's an elevator, not a lift!"

and

"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"

He keeps going on until the Englishman says,

"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."

I've been going to the dentist for a while now, I know the drill.

Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback!

Let's tell a secret about each other... I'll go first.

I

hate

you!

Hi, oooo was the day I was a kid. I was going home to school today after dinner!

So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?

My mother told me to be positive, but she said that when I was going to do an AIDS test.

Why don't orphans go home at pickup?

Because they don't have parents to pick them up.

I had to go to my friend's house.

I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???

You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.

Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.

What was going through the heads of people in Manhattan witnessing 9/11?

Tower 1...

If you are a bully at a school, when you get home, find an orphan and beat them up!

What are they going to do? Tell the orphan lady to tell you to stop? 😆😝

Why did the son go to the store?

To find his dad.

Why did he go to the chiropractors?

To get his spine fixed.

What did one candle say to the other?

"Want to go out tonight?"

Hello everyone! I just came back! How are things going?

What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?

One goes up and one goes down.

I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.

If you have a bad day, go tell an orphan to find his parents. He will be searching all day.