Go jokes
"Where do young trees go to learn?"
"Elementree school."
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
Why do orphans always go to white vans when someone asks?
Because they want to feel wanted.
I've been going to the dentist for a while now, I know the drill.
How's it going @#$!
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
Let's tell a secret about each other... I'll go first.
I
hate
you!
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,
"It's an elevator, not a lift!"
and
"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the Englishman says,
"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarterback!
Hi, oooo was the day I was a kid. I was going home to school today after dinner!
An alien goes to Area 51, but I wonder why he doesn't go to your house?
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.
Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.
Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.
Angela: Kris, I just met the nicest, sweetest guy ever.
Kristie: Who is he and what is his name?
Angela: His name is Kevin.
Kristie: Kevin? I remember him. He said he had to go to Italy for a meeting, never seen him after that. What the hell is Kevin doing here?
Angela: I don't know.
Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?
Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.
Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.
Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.
Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.
Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?
Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?
You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesn’t know you're there.
A morbid joke would be what's going on in my mind.
This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.
Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.
Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.