Go jokes

You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.

Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.

You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"

What does Can do after eating its vegetables?

Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.

Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?

It died before them.

Bro, go work at McDonald's. Your hairline inspired their logo!

I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.

I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.

I decided to go home.

I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.

Nothing much, I just decided to go home.

Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.

My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"

When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"

I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.

What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?

Driving under the influencer.

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?

Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.

POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.

Why can orphans never walk home?

Because there's no way to go.

Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.

Where did Sora go during Nagasaki?

Everywhere.

Your hair and your hairline must be best friends, 'cause they go waaaaay back!

Why did the house go to the doctor?

Because it had a window pane.

One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.

Why do they call them a nonce?

Because they go for people who don't have any sense.