Go jokes

Man: Stop with these orphan jokes!

Me: Why? Are they going to tell their parents on me?

Why can’t orphans go to daughter and dad dance night? They don’t have a dad to go with.

Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."

They will likely reply: "What's updog?"

To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"

How did the orphan go to school?

Not by his parents.

Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.

It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.

Get your mind together!

Your forehead is like a line, it just keeps going.

I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.

Why can't Kobe go shopping?

He's dead.

Hello people. I've seen your jokes are as immature as hell. Keep going with those jokes, people. We might earn the funniest jokes on this website.

What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?

Suicide.

Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?

Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)

Where did Sally go during the bombings? Everywhere!

Why didn’t the parents bother looking for her? Because she was in the front and back yard in small chunks! 😂

What did the bird go to the hospital for?

For tweetment!

Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"

Roses are red.

Your passports are blue.

Now go stand over there,

In that very long queue!

I hope Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, 'cause I need some parts for my go-cart.

When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.

Why can orphans never go to the shops?

'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.

I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."

(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)