Go jokes
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
Some people put zodiacs on everything.
They said they couldn’t go to the party because of cancer.
I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."
(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)
My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.
I hope Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, 'cause I need some parts for my go-cart.
My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.
Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.
It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.
Get your mind together!
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
What did the baseball chief say to the Orphan?
GO HOME!
Why can’t orphans go to daughter and dad dance night? They don’t have a dad to go with.
Go to an orphanage and tell a kid his parents came back.
How did the orphan go to school?
Not by his parents.
Man: Stop with these orphan jokes!
Me: Why? Are they going to tell their parents on me?
"Knock knock."
"Why are you knocking on a wall? You're in the Twin Towers and they're going down!"
Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."
They will likely reply: "What's updog?"
To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"
Why can orphans never go to the shops?
'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.
Why did the dumb blonde pee inside the condom?
Because the doctor told the dumb blonde that the dumb blonde was going to get a urine test!
What did the salad say to the chef? LETTUCE GO!!!
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
A man and a boy were walking through a dark forest. The boy said, “I’m scared.” The man said, “Why are you scared? I’m the one who’s going to leave these woods alone.”