Zodiac

Zodiac jokes

People

40 views ·

Some people put zodiacs on everything.

They said they couldn’t go to the party because of cancer.

Cancer

257 views ·

My aunt's star sign was Cancer, pretty ironic how she died.

She was eaten by a giant crab.

Cancer

99 views ·

I walked into the doctor's surgery and he said to me, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." I said, "Capricorn." He said, "Nah, you got cancer."

Stuff

19 views ·

So the other day, I was looking up zodiac sign stuff, you know, I'm a real big fan of that, and I come across this thing and it’s like all zodiac signs have their own hairstyles... except Cancer.

Cancer

69 views ·

When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,

You respond: "cancer."

Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"

Cancer

15 views ·

Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.

The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...

Decision

38 views ·

On September 11, Gemini ordered three pepperoni pizzas.

One came alone, one was late, and the third went the wrong way.

Cancer

14 views ·

Son: Mom, I did the test and I have cancer!

Mom: YOU HAVE CANCER?!

Son: Mom, as my zodiac symbol...

Mom:....

Community talk

Poll ·

Who else thinks that zodiac signs don't choose what you're like but just say what month it is from how the stars align -.-

Zodiac time :)

♈ Aries (Ram): March 21–April 19.

♉ Taurus (Bull): April 20–May 20.

♊ Gemini (Twins): May 21–June 21.

♋ Cancer (Crab): June 22–July 22.

♌ Leo (Lion): July 23–August 22.

♍ Virgo (Virgin): August 23–September 22.

♎ Libra (Balance): September 23–October 23.

♏ Scorpius (Scorpion): October 24–November 21.

♐ Sagittarius (Archer): November 22–December 21

♑ Capricornus (Goat): December 22–January 19

♒ Aquarius (Water Bearer): January 20–February 18

♓ Pisces (Fish): February 19–March 20