Give Jokes

me: "comment if you love yourself and give me a reason" friends: comments give reason me: "notice how i commented nothing day later mom: let me see your tik tok me: shows her the video mom: calls suicide JK she just beat me for posting a video on her

Why can't you give Elsa a balloon because she will let it go

What do you get when a cow doesn't give anymore milk?

A milk dud 😂

whats the difference between a lambo and a boner

your sister didnt give me a lambo

Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line he comes across a woman who Isn’'t saluting. “Why are you not saluting like the others?” Hitler barks. “"Mein Führer, I’m the nurse," she responds "I’m not crazy!”

What's the difference between my phone and my sister? I actually give a damn if my phone dies.

what does a blondie and a shotgun have in common? give them a cock and there ready to blow.

A Roman walks into a bar

He holds up two fingers and says "give me five beers."

I'm not saying I hate you. I'm just saying that if I could go back in time I'd give your mom a coat hanger.

So a Irish man is walking his poodle and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints. So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says sorry you can’t go in. The Irish man says why can’t I go in? Well you have a dog sir and that sign over there says no dogs aloud your going to have to leave him outside. Well the Irish man thinks quick and says. I’m blind it’s a seeing eye dog. The owner says that’s ridiculous a seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that. The Irish man says well what kind of dog did they give me??😂

I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up..

I now suffer from anxiety aND depression :\

Give a blind kid a torch and tell him its a hairdryer.

Expectation: Brr, I’m cold! Here brother! I’ll give you my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold!

Reality: Brr, I’m cold! Well, damn bro, I can’t control the weather.

I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.

I'm no an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.

Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology

You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.