Give jokes

¡Hola, soy Dora!

Can you help me find the two fucks I'm supposed to give?!

*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?

My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.

Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.

She lets him play anyway and I don't.

Once I almost died. I'll give it another shot out of the gun to finish my job.

The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.

Haters are hating. I'm still alluring, but I couldn't give a fuck cus this site is dying and boring.

Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.

As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."

A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:

"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"

You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"

How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?

Don't give up on your dreams...

Keep sleeping.

James Bond: Vodka martini.

Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.

James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?

If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.

How do you know when you're disliked?

When they always give you the camera for group photos.

I like Christmas.

It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁

What chips are you not allowed to give to orphans?

Family size.

I give these jokes a 9/11.

Hey, can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives you two nights in a row.

You're so ugly that when your mama had you, she tried to give you away, but there was nowhere to give you.

What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?

A white elephant.