It's quite ironic that people tell you "Happy Birthday," then they want to give you a spanking.
What do you give a pig when it has a rash?
Oinkment.
You're so ugly that when your mama had you, she tried to give you away, but there was nowhere to give you.
How do you know when you're disliked?
When they always give you the camera for group photos.
Haters are hating. I'm still alluring, but I couldn't give a fuck cus this site is dying and boring.
GIVEAWAAAAAAY!!!
Okay, 19 dollar Fortnite card. Who wants it? And yes, I’m giving it away. Remember: Share, share, share! And trolls: Don’t get BLOCKED!
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.
I used to believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
Once I almost died. I'll give it another shot out of the gun to finish my job.
What chips are you not allowed to give to orphans
Family size
I give these jokes a 9/11
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
Don't give up on your dreams...
Keep sleeping.
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!
