Give jokes

I used to believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.

*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?

The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.

¡Hola, soy Dora!

Can you help me find the two fucks I'm supposed to give?!

I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.

Once I almost died. I'll give it another shot out of the gun to finish my job.

My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.

Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.

She lets him play anyway and I don't.

Hey, can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives you two nights in a row.

How do you know when you're disliked?

When they always give you the camera for group photos.

Haters are hating. I'm still alluring, but I couldn't give a fuck cus this site is dying and boring.

What chips are you not allowed to give to orphans?

Family size.

Don't give up on your dreams...

Keep sleeping.

If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.

You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"

How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?

I give these jokes a 9/11.

James Bond: Vodka martini.

Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.

James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?

What do you give a pig when it has a rash?

Oinkment.

It's quite ironic that people tell you "Happy Birthday," then they want to give you a spanking.

You're so ugly that when your mama had you, she tried to give you away, but there was nowhere to give you.

What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?

A white elephant.