Give jokes
How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.
Woman aren't human anyways... lol.
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.
Don't give up on your dreams...
Keep sleeping.
I give these jokes a 9/11.
What chips are you not allowed to give to orphans?
Family size.
How do you know when you're disliked?
When they always give you the camera for group photos.
You're so ugly that when your mama had you, she tried to give you away, but there was nowhere to give you.
Hey, can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives you two nights in a row.
James Bond gives all the ladies he's met the perfect birthday gift: Chlamydia.
What do you give a pig when it has a rash?
Oinkment.
Five little monkeys jumping on a bed.
One fell off and bumped his head. Mamma called Walmart, and Walmart said,
"We will give you a replacement!"
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
GIVEAWAAAAAAY!!!
Okay, 19 dollar Fortnite card. Who wants it? And yes, I’m giving it away. Remember: Share, share, share! And trolls: Don’t get BLOCKED!
It's quite ironic that people tell you "Happy Birthday," then they want to give you a spanking.
What did Osama give the Windows on the World restaurant in the WTC as a rating when he ate it? A 9/11!
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
How do you disrespect an Asian?
Give them driving lessons.
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.