Give jokes

How do you disrespect an Asian?

Give them driving lessons.

As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."

Haters are hating. I'm still alluring, but I couldn't give a fuck cus this site is dying and boring.

*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?

My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.

Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.

She lets him play anyway and I don't.

Once I almost died. I'll give it another shot out of the gun to finish my job.

The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.

¡Hola, soy Dora!

Can you help me find the two fucks I'm supposed to give?!

Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.

I like Christmas.

It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁

What chips are you not allowed to give to orphans?

Family size.

I give these jokes a 9/11.

Hey, can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives you two nights in a row.

What do you give a pig when it has a rash?

Oinkment.

You're so ugly that when your mama had you, she tried to give you away, but there was nowhere to give you.

You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"

How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?

Don't give up on your dreams...

Keep sleeping.

If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.

James Bond: Vodka martini.

Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.

James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?

How do you know when you're disliked?

When they always give you the camera for group photos.