Give Jokes

If it's true what they say and I quote; "God never gives you more than you can handle"

Then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.

Suicide gives your security for the future. Decide the day of suicide and live with full joy till that day and you can choose to postpone it.

At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”

Give a like if I have no friends.

What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?

The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals

Why are babies called bundles of joys? When you break the bundle, it gives you joy.

Tomorrow is Christmas and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (yes this was inspired by a Fallout boy song)

On the lines of "I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous",

I'm dying to live forever !

Your mama so ugly that even Rick Astley had to give her up

If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning

Give a man a match he'll be warm for a while but set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish and he'll become a prince.

me: "comment if you love yourself and give me a reason" friends: comments give reason me: "notice how i commented nothing day later mom: let me see your tik tok me: shows her the video mom: calls suicide JK she just beat me for posting a video on her

Person: 'Doctor, doctor I've only got 50 seconds to live'

Doctor: 'Just give me a minute'

What do you get when a cow doesn't give anymore milk?

A milk dud 😂

whats the difference between a lambo and a boner

your sister didnt give me a lambo

Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line he comes across a woman who Isn't saluting. Why are you not saluting like the others? Hitler barks. "Mein Führer, Im the nurse," she responds "Im not crazy!