Girlfriend Jokes

My girl friend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl she said I was cheating but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend so I fuck her, turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about. And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her but this time it was her Identical triplet. There 3 of them.... AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!

DH: I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.

Dark..Humor :)

Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick and I accidentally gave her the glue stick. She won't talk to me any more.

A Blond and her Brunette friend where chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her. To not be outdone the blond retort's. Thats nothing once we we're in the kitchen I can't believe I didn't see it coming one minute I turned and He just got it all on my face it was so thick and hard! it covered my mouth, my nose,my shoulders, and eyes it even got in my hair; and when i looked up at him all he could say was whoops the Flower went everywhere!

Man:Can You be my girlfriend? Woman:Im Lesbian, Sorry Man:Oh, Heres your rope

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

How am I an ableist? My ex girlfriend was in a wheelchair and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to 8th floor.

I always win arguments against my handicapped girlfriend she cant stand for her self

I love breakups, my ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.

Me and my girlfreind were walking in the woods, HER: I am Scared ME: What do you think I feel I have to walk back alone

What is the difference between a broom and a mop? It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop

My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once

I once was playing with my friend and roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. i broke up with her and unfriended him then i saw my mom and my uncle crying! Me be like : ;-;

I like my girlfriends new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one 😀

Who lives in the pineapple under the see, Malasian Airlines Flight 303!

My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........ IMAGINE

My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden. He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, " You have to dig a little."